By Jane Jett, March 9th, 2018
Sex is great, and sex toys can make it even better, but many couples seem to be intimidated by sex toys while their partners might want them the idea of introducing a sex toy might be intimidating. There are a number of reasons why couples might fear toys in bed, but there are even more reasons why this is a fear to be overcome. Our time in this life is short, and there is nothing wrong with trying to get as much pleasure out of it as possible. Given that, why would you willfully deny yourself added fun and a better time? After all, it’s not like someone looks back at their life and smiles at all the fun they didn’t have. This guide will briefly outline some reasons couples fear sex toy and then go on to explain why couples shouldn’t be afraid of toys.
Men: There are many theories as to why men seem to be afraid of toys. The most common theories center on the idea that men feel inferior, threatened, or inadequate when the idea of toys in the bedroom is brought up. These fears can come about because of the way that gender roles have traditionally been articulated in the west. Men are supposed to be able to provide whatever is needed for themselves and those around them, and sometimes men can feel that the presence of a sex toy means that they are not good enough. However, this is simply a matter of mindset rather than reality. Another factor comes from myths about female sexuality, where some men might fear that his partner might prefer the toy vs the real deal, (Guys no toy can replace the incredible love, affection and sensation your bodies offer). As you may have realized reading those sentences, neither thought process makes any sense and only works to restrict how we look for pleasure. There are far more reasons to embrace the joy and pleasure you can get from toys than there are sensible reasons to fear them. In this same regards woman are fearful of their vaginal walls extending and or becoming weaker and not meeting the mold of their partner’s penis, all of course terrible myths. Ladies our vaginal walls are incredibly strong, flexible and juicy no sex toy could ever change your vaginal canal and or the capability of enjoying sex with your partner.
Frequently sex toys are seen as something that are only for women. However, the industry has been working to change this perception and has been coming out with more and more toys designed with couples in mind (We-Vibe Sync). These go above the standard vibrating rabbits of the past, and can be a great way to spice up a relationship or just enjoy some you time. Adding one of these masturbatory aids can introduce a whole new element to your personal time as well as your playtime with a partner. When with a partner, a toy can be almost like a threesome, with all kinds of stimulation happening everywhere. By yourself, a toy can bring a porn viewing to the next level or help make solo time feel more like the real thing. As you can see, these are compelling reasons why couples shouldn’t be afraid of toys in the bedroom.
Here are a few tips on how to incorporate sex toys into your relationship:
Talk about what seems interesting to you and align it with what you do already in the bedroom. Do you like massages to get you in the mood? Maybe a massage candle might be on the wish list. Interested in bondage, but want something comfortable and relatively gentle? It’s also important to talk with your partner about what they want and what they don’t want. Communication is the key to make sure that both of you have an amazing time.
Second: Educate Yourself
If one partner has used toys before (for example, for solo play, or in previous relationships), this may be an opportunity to educate the other partner by demonstration
Toy’s I Highly recommend are:
Lelo Tor II
Yes, guys a cock ring here is why this toy is a fully waterproof, fully rechargeable cock ring that delivers uncommonly powerful vibrations for this type of toy. Worn on the penis during sex, it is designed to help provide a more powerful erection while delivering pleasure-inducing vibrations to a female partner during sex.
This vibe is well-known as one you can wear during intercourse, and this latest version is still great for that. But it can also do a whole lot more. Enjoy G-spot and clitoral stimulation alone, or let a partner hold the remote control. Sync also works via We-Vibe’s We-Connect app, allowing your partner to control this via app and or remote.
The LELO SONA and SONA Cruise are the latest in LELO’s line of luxury sex toys, but they provide something completely different: deep clitoral stimulation via sonic waves. It promises bigger, better, deeper orgasms – and it really delivers
Lube doesn’t get nearly enough love. In fact, a lot of people assume that it’s just for people who don’t have enough natural lubrication. The thing is, even if you’re one juicy babe, lubrication levels can fluctuate with your mood, your cycle and even the weather. And more lubrication tends to mean more comfortable, longer play. This is true even with a vibrator that you plan to use externally. Even that small amount of vibration against your skin is a form of friction that can create some degree of irritation. Adding a dab of lube will make things so much better. Trust me on this one!
Third: Go Slow
Even if you’re tempted to use everything at once, don’t. You don’t need to use an entire toy box in one go! Let’s say you have multiple toys. You can reserve one or two for special occasions, or to elicit different sensations from your partner at different times. After all, you might want rough and intense play in one session, and gentle caresses the next. Use the toy that fits the occasion and mood, and know that the rest of the toy box is there, and will always be there, when you need it.
As you can see, there are many reasons why couples shouldn’t be afraid of toys. Toys can help add spice to any relationship or encounter. They bring couples closer together through having open honest communication with each others wants and needs, offers more confidence and sexual exploration and trust me you won’t be disappointed with the result. A couple that plays together stays together.