Sex Tips & Advice

6 Simple Steps to the Big “O” Ladies!


By Lee & Jessica, Owners of DiskretAdultLife, Jan. 6th, 2019

Perhaps you are younger and never achieved an orgasm, or maybe you are well versed in sexual experiences but have difficulty climaxing. Either way, let the experts help walk you through the six simple steps to achieving an amazing orgasm! No more asking, what’s wrong with me or what am I doing wrong. These steps will guide you down a very pleasurable and orgasmic road!

If you are sick of wondering how to have an orgasm, we have the perfect cure. It takes some practice, time, and patience but these proven tactics will help you get in tune with your body, understand what it desires, and how to please it. Less than 20% of women can climax from straight sexual intercourse. Here is how you adapt and overcome…

how to have an orgasm

How to Have an Orgasm 101:

Before we jump into the 6 simple steps to achieving an amazing orgasm, you should understand the different kinds of orgasms. Yes, there are many different ways to experience the big “O”. They all have their own unique feeling and require different forms of stimulation to achieve. Here is a rundown of the 5 main types of orgasms:

  • Vaginal:

Now it’s not uncommon for women to have sexual intercourse and not climax. It’s nothing to worry about or focus on (unless a problem). Less than 20% of women can cum from vaginal penetration alone. You might require other forms of stimulation, or maybe vaginal feels great and all, but shouldn’t be your “go-to” move when looking to climax.

If you are lucky enough to experience a vaginal orgasm you will feel it deep within your body, it can also be felt by the person penetrating. This is due to the vagina walls pulsing as you experience this euphoria.

  • Clitoral:

Clitoral orgasms are more common than vaginal believe it or not. But the clitoris is an organ which sole purpose is to bring a women pleasure. It simply does not have any other function than this! So why not take advantage of it? If you want to know how to have an orgasm, you need to experiment with clitoral masturbation.

If you have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation, you will feel it on the surface of your body, like a tingly feeling along your skin and in your brain. This is all the endorphins and dopamine being released from climaxing.

  • Anal:

A lot of women and men don’t know it’s possible to experience an orgasm from anal stimulation and penetration. This is particularly great for men who can experience a prostate orgasm. The prostate is located about 3-4” inside a mans anus and is at the base of the their urethra. It’s about the size of a walnut. When stimulated through the anal cavity can bring great pleasure, so much so, they can receive a full body prostate orgasm!

Slightly before a prostate orgasm, he may feel the sensation to pee due to the stimulation around the base of his urethra. He will experience contractions deep within his abdominal and anal sphincter. He will feel an intense warmth go through his mid-section before finally receiving an insanely pleasurable full body orgasm with uncontrollable contractions around your anal cavity.

  • Erogenous Zones:

These are all the other parts of the body you might not think about stimulating first. It could be your nipples, neck, g-spot, p-spot, perineum, and foreplay in general. Don’t forget about touching, kissing, and licking all the areas that bring stimulation. You can use these areas in combination with vaginal, clitoral, and anal stimulation to bring complete blended orgasms.

  • Blended:

Want to know what women find the most pleasurable orgasm of all? According to most women testimonies about orgasms they’ve had, and what they find the most pleasurable, it all comes back to blended orgasms. A blended orgasm is a combination of all the types of stimulation above. Perhaps you require vaginal penetration along with clitoral stimulation, or maybe clitoral stimulation with anal penetration. An orgasm brought on by multiple forms often brings the most explosive results!

Expect big things from a blended orgasm: particularly g-spot stimulation with another form of stimulation. Warning… You may experience explosive, convulsing, or ejaculating orgasms. Yes, female ejaculation is real!

How to Have an Orgasm: 6 Simple Steps:

Now that you know all the different kinds of orgasms… how the hell do I get them?! Here are 6 simple steps to getting your first orgasm, or just down right experiencing them more frequently.

How to Have an Orgasm: Step #1

If you want to know how to have an orgasm, I’ve said it a thousand times… the key is foreplay! You need long drawn out foreplay that gets you so worked up it shouldn’t be a question of if you climax… but when. Foreplay is not only for those in a relationship, foreplay can be achieved all on your own too! Just by touching your own erogenous zones can get you too that next level. So, step number one of achieving an orgasm is long drawn out foreplay. Here are some great examples of foreplay to get yourself totally worked up before having sex or masturbating.

  • Start with kissing and grinding… Even oral sex leading into the sexual intercourse session. Don’t rush through this part as it will make the intercourse that much more pleasurable.
  • Talk dirty to each while you start to slowly strip each other’s clothing off. Piece by piece… again, foreplay this isn’t a race!

how to have an orgasm, couples

How to Have an Orgasm: Step #2

If you want to know how to have an orgasm, you need to learn to relax. I’m talking both physically and mentally. The key to being able to climax, is allowing yourself to enter a fully relaxed state, so relaxed you could fall asleep… then start touching yourself or your partner. If you are on edge, uncomfortable, rushed, or focusing solely on getting off. You severely decrease your odds of climaxing.

So, here are some simple tricks to relaxing your body:

  • If you drink… sip on a cocktail or enjoy a glass of wine while listening to some relaxing music.
  • Try some exercise, it doesn’t have to be yoga to be relaxing. A simple walk outside with some fresh air or even light stretching will do the trick!
  • Take a warm bath or hot shower to help relax your body. Also, the ease of mind knowing your clean sometimes helps people before stimulation.

Here are some simple tricks to relaxing your mind before masturbating:

  • Try a warm drink like tea.
  • Lay back, clothes your eyes, and fantasize about something sexual.
  • Slow deep breaths, meditation, or progressive relaxation.

How to Have an Orgasm: Step #3

The third step to having an amazing orgasm is to use lube! If you plan on long drawn out foreplay its very possible your bodies natural lube will dry up. I highly recommend you consider lube even if you feel you don’t have an issue getting “wet”. Lube heightens all sexual stimulation, its great to use with sex toys, and is must with any kind of anal play.

The two main lubes to consider are:

  • Water-based Lube:

Water-based lube is what I would recommend for almost all types of sex. It’s safe with all types of sex toys. It is very gentle on your sex toys and especially on your skin. If you have sensitive skin, water-based lube might be the only type of lube you can use. It also cleans off your sheets and clothes very easily. The only time I don’t recommend water-based lube is if you plan on having sex or masturbating in the shower, tub, or swimming pool. This is because water-based lube washes away easily in water environments.

  • Silicone-based Lube:

I recommend silicone-based lube if you plan on having water sex. It lasts much longer and is water resistant. However, silicone-based lube is not normally safe to use with most silicone sex toys, because it can break down the outer layers of the toy. It’s also not safe to use with condoms, as the silicone lube can cause them to break more frequently.

 How to Have an Orgasm: Step #4

Use a high-quality sex toy! Want to learn what of type of stimulation drives you to orgasm the fastest? Want to know what your body craves, what your deepest desires are? Don’t try to learn these things in the bedroom while trying to please your partner at the same time. Start solo, to fully understand you, and what you desire.

If you want to know how to have an orgasm, masturbate, masturbate, and masturbate more. You don’t have to climax every masturbation session, matter of fact that shouldn’t even be your goal. Your goal should be to learn your body and what feels good. Try a clitoral stimulator one week, then a g-spot vibrator the next. Dive into a little anal play with anal beads or a butt plug. This is where you start getting orgasms, this is where you have extremely long and drawn out pleasurable experiences… all by yourself!

How to have an orgasm: Iconic Rabbit 2.0

For vaginal and clitoral stimulation, I recommend the Iconic Rabbit 2.0 the shape is famous for a reason… it works really, really well. This will help just about any women experience a blended orgasm through vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation. Once you are completely relaxed and turned on, apply some lube and slowly work the sex toy in and out. Find what works best for you, light pressure on the front side of your vaginal wall, perhaps the back… maybe you find deep penetration strokes work much better than short and shallow ones. Find what feels good and stick with it! Find a rhythm, and don’t change it until you need to change position for more pleasure or you climax! Remember the tongue on the front is to stimulate the clitoris while the shaft is penetrating the vagina.

rabbit 2 rechargeable vibrator

How to have an orgasm: Womanizer

For clitoral stimulation alone, I highly recommend the Sona Cruise or Womanizer Deluxe. You might have heard of these before, but they use a special pulse wave technology. In short… they use pulsating air to make it feel as though a suction is being applied to your clit. These are called the “90 second orgasm” toys for a reason! But I challenge most women to even make it 90 seconds with one of these!

clitoral stimulator womanizer deluxe

How to have an orgasm: Petite Sensation Strings

For anal penetration, I highly recommend the petite sensation strings. They won’t break the bank if you are just looking to test out some anal play. Plus, they are smaller diameter beads that don’t tapper. Perfect for any beginner looking to see if they like anal play or try a blended orgasm with anal stimulation.

vibrating anal beads

How to have an orgasm: Cock Rings

If you enjoy have sexual intercourse with your male partner but just struggle to orgasm from the vaginal penetration alone, I highly suggest trying a cock ring. This is a silicone sex toy ring that goes around the base of his shaft. It gives him pleasure when it vibrates, plus provides some constriction around his shaft to keep him harder, longer. But every time he thrusts into you, the vibrating silicone ring will hit your clitoris. This allows for blended orgasms to be achieved between both of you.

cock ring

How to Have an Orgasm: Step #5

Once you have really experimented a lot with your own body in private through masturbation and using quality sex toys… take it to the bedroom with your partner. Show them exactly what to do. It’s not rude or embarrassing, help guide them… So you can climax. Both verbal communication and physical contact will be required. Take their hand and show them how you like the vibrator to be inserted, the pace you like, and at what angle. Let them use the sex toy on you, then they will know how this translates to when they penetrate you.

You should use verbal communication throughout the sexual intercourse as well. A simple “faster / slower” or “left / right” can make the world of difference when trying to achieve maximum pleasure. If you want to know how to have an orgasm, its no one trick cures all, it’s a combination of all these techniques.

how to have an orgasm

How to Have an Orgasm: Step #6

Find your “go-to” sex toy and sex position. As time goes on, you should experiment with new sex toys and new sex positions constantly! You should never stop striving to receive more pleasure during masturbation or with a partner. However, you will slowly develop some favorites, just as you learn what not to do as well… These sex toys and sex positions that you have mind blowing orgasms from, store in your back pocket. These can be a “go-to” at any time. Use them in your bag of tricks that you know works well for you.

Never stop striving to learn and understand your body. Keep masturbating, keep having sex, and keep learning what your body craves. A combination of foreplay, relaxation, experience, great sex toys, and an experienced partner will deliver full body orgasms time and time again. It’s a developed skill we can all achieve with the right attitude! Now go have some fun “learning”!

Want to win a free Iconic Rabbit 2.0 from Diskret? Share this blog on any main social media form with #diskretadultlife for your chance to win! Winner drawn monthly!

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