Sex Tips & Advice

How To Use Sex Toys For Women. Mind-Altering Pleasure!

By: Jessica & Lee Founders of Diskret_Adult_Life (How To Use Sex Toys)

womanizer duo bath

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Are you wondering exactly how to use sex toys for mind blowing masturbation sessions or taking sex with a partner to new and unimaginable heights?

Do you want full body orgasms, leaving your entire being convulsing uncontrollably?

How about giving him an explosive orgasm that seems to last for 5+ minutes, leaving him in a state of shock and awe.

Want to be able to do all this to yourself, whenever you please?

Yes, sex toys can do exactly that… “But” (always have to throw that “but” word in there).

Like I was always told from childhood on; “You need to use the right tool for the right job”.

That requires you to first understand your own body (and partners body) to determine the pleasure it craves the most.

Then finding the right sex toy to overwhelm your body with these unique waves of pleasure works best.

It sounds complicated, but it’s an extremely fun and pleasurable process!

This guide will show you exactly how to use sex toys to receive that mind-altering pleasure you never knew was possible through these simple steps:

  • Understanding how pleasure affects your body


  • How to use sex toys


  • The different types of sex toys for women


  • Introducing sex toys to the bedroom


  • Sex toys for couples


  • Sex Toys for beginner women


Using Sex Toys 101

Anyone new to sex toys can be extremely overwhelmed when stepping into this new adventure of a lifetime.

Hell, even those who have been in the industry for years feel overwhelmed. New designs, styles, and forms are coming out every week.

You need a “sex toy degree” to fully understand what every toy does and how to utilize it for the maximum effect it was intended for.

The most important thing with all these options being thrown at you is take a step back and realize these sex toys are meant for pleasure, fun, and to try something new that will break your “routine” sex life.

Don’t stress it, while everyone wants the best sex toy, it takes time to find it.

Before you can have that “holy grail” of a toy and know exactly how to use sex toys of all kinds; you must first understand what your body is looking for.

Typically, when I ask a customer what does your body want? I get responses like this:

“I’m looking for a good orgasm.”

“I want something that will make me squirt.”

“I want to cum multiple times in a row.”

“Show me something that will make us both climax at the same time.”

“I want a cheap toy that will blow my mind!”

Okay you get the point, and I get the point. You want something that delivers a punch. Rocks you to the core, and delivers life changing pleasure.

But my question was not “what do you want the result of this toy to be?”

My question was “what does your body want?”

To get your end goal, you must first understand what your body is asking for.

For example, let’s say you want to be fit.

Does that mean you should lift heavy weights? Should you eat 2,000 calories a day or 1,500 calories a day? Do you need light weight with a lot of repetitions? Should you eat a lot of carbs or focus more on protein.

Sure, you want to be extremely fit, but your body will demand and require something different than my body would. My body might respond best to a ton of calories and heavy weight, while yours requires light weight high repetition and less calories.

What the hell does this have to do with how to use sex toys?

Just like working out, your body is unique in the way it responds to both building muscle, endurance, stress, and pleasure!

Understanding How Pleasure Affects My Body:

Everyone body is unique. How you respond to pleasure is different from how I do, how your partner does, and how your friends do.

To understand how to use a sex toy, you should first understand what forms of pleasure affect your body in the best way.


orgasm control


Here is a list of all the different forms of pleasure for both men and women (I’m sure I missed some, leave them in the comments please!)

  • Deep penetration
  • Shallow penetration
  • Caressing genitals
  • G-spot (3-4” inside vaginal opening facing up)
  • P-Spot (Base of male urethra)
  • U-Spot (just below clitoris)
  • A-Spot (lower part of the vaginal opening)
  • Perineum stimulation
  • Anus stimulation
  • Rectum stimulation
  • Deep Anal
  • Blended Stimulation
  • Clitoral Stimulation
  • Vulva stimulation
  • Testicles stimulation
  • Oral stimulation
  • Full shaft stimulation
  • Pubic mound
  • Tip of shaft stimulation
  • Erogenous zones (lips, neck, ears, feet, small of back, nipples, inner thighs)
  • Frenulum stimulation
  • Foreskin play
  • Bondage, Kink, BDSM play

It’s a lot I know.

But here are the basics you should start with and work your way down the list.


Beginner Women & Understanding Your Pleasure:

Start at the top of this list, spend 2-3 masturbation sessions focusing solely on that specific zone. If it becomes too overwhelming, take a break and go back to it, or stimulate another zone for a brief moment then go back to it.

You will need a sex toy designed specifically for each zone. We will cover these later on.

I say to give it a try 2-3 times because you might not enjoy the sensation at first, but once you understand the technique, pressure, and way to stimulate it, you may change your mind. Especially with all things anal.

  • Clitoral Stimulation

The clitoris is packed full of 7,000+ nerve endings. Its only purpose of being on a women is to deliver pleasure.

70% of all women say they require some form of clitoral stimulation in order to climax.


clitoral stimulation


So, do not ignore the clitoris! This is why I put it first on the list of forms of simulation to try and focus on, even before vaginal penetration.

While stimulating the clitoris, you can take breaks by working your way around the vulva. Stimulate the entire zone.

Caress gently to start and apply different forms of pressure and strokes.

Determine if clitoral stimulation is something for you! Make mental note or physical notes on a scale of 1-10 if you orgasmed, how great the orgasm was, how long did it last, where did you feel it most?


  • Vaginal Penetration

You should focus on few different things during vaginal penetration. Try long slow strokes, short and fast strokes, twisting motions, rocking motions, and deep vs. shallow penetration.

These will help you determine if you desire a long, girthy vibrator, or a shallow slim one.

When you start, try everything with the vibrator off (making it a dildo). Some women find the vibration to much or overstimulating.

You should determine if your body craves this vibration or not.

Again, take notes on what types of motion felt best. Do you enjoy the vibration?


  • G-Spot Stimulation

G-spot stimulation can lead to some of the most intense orgasms of your life. You really do need a specifically designed sex toy to stimulate it properly.

I will cover how to use sex toys like this later, but the important thing is it has a slight curve relatively short from the handle of the toy.

This will allow you to focus on the G-spot which is located 3-4 inches inside the vagina facing up towards your bellybutton.


g spot location


You can find it with your fingers first to determine the exact spot to stimulate. It feels like the texture of a raspberry. The G-Spot is a bunch of nerve endings perfectly placed for you to stimulate.

Ever have the desire to squirt?

Stimulating the G-spot using a “edging” technique will give you the best ability to squirt. But either way it will be life changing pleasure like never before.

If you want to know how to use a sex toy, the g-spot is one that must make it on your list.


Gigi 2, Lelo

Take notes on how your body responds to g-spot pleasure.


  • Anal Stimulation

Ahh, the famous anal stimulation…

Anal stimulation is the most controversial form of stimulation. It seems most women either love it or hate it.

But you’re here to learn how to use sex toys. If you want to know how your body responds to anal stimulation, you have no choice but to try it!

The best way to start is very slow with a well lubed up finger. Try it during a few masturbation sessions. If you start to feel the pleasurable sensation, it might be time to ramp up to an actual anal sex toy.

Such as a small butt plug or anal beads. These allow you to slowly ramp up the size you will be inserting.


satisfyer beads


Just remember to always use lube and give something that vibrates a try too!

Anal orgasms are real and very powerful. Something you should try if your body responds well to it.

Take notes on how you feel with beginner anal play and go from there!


 How To Use Sex Toys!

Can we finally dive into how to use sex toys?!

Yes, its that time!

Now that you have tried multiple forms of stimulation and know exactly what your body craves, its time to find the perfect sex toy for you!

This sex toy will stimulate all the right areas with the perfect blend of pressure, speed, and vibration. Giving you exactly what you desire most and avoiding what you hate.

This sex toy can change how you orgasm, your mood, your relationship, and yes even how you view life.

It can take you from negative to positive, from depressed to happy, from a broken relationship to flourishing one.

Okay now, those are some bold statements, but I’ve seen it done hundreds of times. People who are extremely sexually frustrated finding their own personal “holy grail” can be life-changing!


how to use a dildo


Here are the main types of sex toys with a brief overview of what they were designed for, the level of expertise to use it, and what form of stimulation it can bring.

Cross reference this list with what types of pleasure you desire the most. It’s a matter of matching “the right tool for the job”!


How To Use Sex Toys For Men & Women:

Man or woman, here is a list of sex toys and how to use them for additional pleasure during solo masturbation or sex with a partner.


How To Use Anal Beads

Anal beads are typically small cylindrical spheres that gradually get bigger in size and held together with either string or a silicone band. The are designed to start small by inserting the smallest bead first into your rectum.

As you get more comfortable with the size or strive for more of a “fullness” feeling you can begin inserting more beads that ramp up in size.


sex toys for men


As each bead passes your anus into your anal cavity, they expand two muscle rings around the rim of your anus. These muscles produce large waves of pleasure as they expand and contract. Especially for someone who is already turned on and susceptible to receiving pleasure.

Anal beads are great for beginners learning how to use sex toys for anal pleasure. They allow you to start small and work at your own pace without having to continually buy the next size up when you’re ready for it.

I use anal beads in a very specific way. I love to insert them slowly during foreplay. Then I begin to stimulate my front side, pulling in and pushing beads out whenever I desire a boost in pleasure.

Then just before I orgasm, I stop stimulating my front side and slowly remove the anal beads one by one. I let the anal beads push me over the edge into an incredible full body orgasm!

I have also used them during penetrative sex. Leaving them in with a partner and allowing him to pull and push them as he desires. Letting him control my climax!


Vibrating Anal Beads

Vibrating anal beads are amazing for that additional stimulation. Most vibrating anal beads come in a larger size so if you’re a beginner make sure to verify you can handle the diameter of at least the smallest sphere.

I would suggest making sure the first ball is under a half of an inch for beginners.

The vibration patterns and level of intensity is great for anal play and masturbation. It makes that manual stimulation (pushing and pulling) less frequently required. Since they are always giving you pleasure you don’t need to constantly stimulate them through manual motion.


– Beginner Anal Beads

Beginners should start with slightly smaller anal beads. But overall anal beads work great with any new anal play users, because the first beads will allow you to experiment and move up in size at your own pace.

Stick with something that has a max anal bead size of 1” or less. Possibly 1.25 inches if you’re an ambitious beginner.


vibrating anal beads, sex toys for anal


You really don’t need vibration to start unless you only want to buy one anal bead ever. But to start get something less expensive that is just a soft flexible material you can experiment with.

If it turns out you love anal beads and want to step it up, you can always invest a little more for the vibrating anal beads at that time. Or start with a less expensive one that uses a bullet vibe (such as the picture link shown above).


How To Use Butt Plugs

Butt plugs are typically a bulbous head that slims down to a thin neck before ramping up to a large flared base.

They are used in a slightly different fashion than anal beads.

I’m always asked how to use sex toys of this nature and what’s the best way. But you really need to test and experiment that for yourself.

Butt plugs are designed to be inserted, stretching the anus quite a bit at first (compared anal beads). But once you get the anus past the largest point of the butt plug head it slims down to a tapered neck that your anus can easily clench around. Leaving the bulbous head inserted into your rectum and the large flared base preventing the butt plug from traveling in past the rim of your anus.


Njoy Pure Plug Medium


This allows your body to stay in a relatively relaxed state but with a larger fullness feeling in your rectum.

That feeling brings huge waves of pleasure during just about any activity! You can have a butt plug in while you do homework, watch a movie, household cleaning, taking a shower, taking a bath, masturbating, or having sex!

The possibilities are truly endless!

Butt plugs are designed to be inserted and stay in for an extended amount of time. I recommend taking it out after a maximum time of 3 hours though.

Here is a list of the main types of butt plugs and a link to view one:







How To Use Sex Toys For Women:

Okay ladies, its time to focus on you!

You have hundreds of options when it comes to picking out the perfect sex toy. But I will break it down into some basic categories you should start with along with how to use them.



Every lady needs to try a vibrator!

Okay, okay… But how do I use a vibrator? How do I pick out the right one?

Start basic and don’t get overwhelmed.

Do you want clitoral stimulation, penetration, or both at the same time?

Start there and pick your vibes accordingly.

To use your vibrator in the best way possible, do something really, really lame. Read the darn directions! Open the box and it will come with some basic instructions. Read them!

I know it sounds nerdy and is probably the last thing you want to do when you get that new vibrator, but will cover all the features it has, how to use the controls, and what its safe to use with.

Right there will answer your basic needs such as powering up, swapping through patterns, if its waterproof, and if it is safe to use with any time of lube.

Next your going to want to relax. I relax by taking a warm bath with my favorite glass of Pinot Noir.


waterproof vibrator


Make sure to carve out a good amount of time, being distracted or interrupted is a total buzz kill!

Lube up your vaginal area and your vibrator. Make sure you have a towel down if the lube can stain sheets!

Next, get turned on! Watch some porn, listen to audio erotica, read literotica, use your imagination… Just relax and get turned on before you even use the vibrator. If you want to use the vibes to caress yourself, that always works well to speed this process up!

Lastly, use the vibrator as its intended for. Here is a list of different types of vibrators and what they are intended for. Each one is a link to an example of a great vibrator within its class.


Wands offer the most power out of any type of vibrators. Some are rechargeable, but most plug into the wall. They have huge motors and will blow your freakin’ socks off!

Due to that they are not the most travel friendly, but amazing for solo masturbation sessions at home.

Wands consist of a head that is silicone wrapped and can bend or rotate at all 360 degrees. The body is usually a longer cylinder that houses the larger motors.

rechargeable magic wand, vibrator sex toys

Wand vibrators are easy to use, offer broad clitoral stimulation, and extremely powerful.

Not intended to be inserted unless using a special head attachment!


Clitoral stimulators come in many shapes and sizes. But I wanted to focus on one style here. The clitoral stimulators that use pulse air technology.

These types of clitoral stimulators have a tip that encompasses your clit and using air can create a suction like feeling.


womanizer duo in the hand


Imagine the best oral sex you’ve ever had and multiple it by 100.

These sex toys are dubbed the 90 second orgasm machine because that’s the longest women can last before exploding into a full body orgasm!

These types of vibrators are used only for external use.


Want to know how to use sex toys like a rabbit vibrator?

You’ve come to right place!

Rabbit vibrators, the most iconic and classic vibrator of all time with over a million sold each year are a favorite among all women.


It offers blended orgasms. These orgasms are from the shaft that gets inserted offering a deep vibration penetration. Along with the rabbit ears which is typically some form of one or two nubs coming off the front of the handle that stimulate your clitoris.


iconic rabbit 2, vibrators


So, you not only get the amazing penetration, but simultaneously get clitoral situation too! This is the perfect blend and recipe for an amazing orgasm.

I like to insert mine and simply rock it back and forth allowing the rabbit ears to do their job and the shaft to have some motion as well. You can also thrust if you so desire, but you lose the clitoral stimulation for a brief moment as you pull the shaft out.


Thrusting vibrators are the latest craze!

These are relatively new as I think the manufacturing behind them is difficult.

A thrusting vibrator allows the tip of the shaft to jump forward and back.

Imagine just holding the handle of a vibrator still but feeling like you’re getting the most intense pounding of your life!


Essenza Vibrator


Yea, they can go nice and slow in and out of your vagina, or fast like a freight train! It’s up to you how you want the penetration, and how deep you want it to go.

I prefer to start slow and work myself up into the faster pace modes.

Some offer clitoral stimulation along with this thrusting motion. But if you love deep and shallow penetration, you can’t go wrong with a thrusting vibrator!


If you want to know how to use a g-spot vibrator, it really is all about the “motion in the ocean” not the size of the boat.

In other words, your g-spot is relatively shallow in your body. A G-spot vibrator really doesn’t need to be super long, it just needs to have a nice curve to it, and preferably a texture on the curve.


we-vibe Rave, g spot vibrators


This allows you to insert the G-spot vibrator and rock it back and forth. The curve will apply pressure to your g-spot and the ribbed texture will stimulate it.

You can adjust the handle of the vibrator back-and-forth to apply more-or-less pressure on your g-spot.

This is the ultimate tool for g-spot orgasms, most likely to make her squirt too!


Bullet vibrators are designed for one thing. Small, easy vibes, that you can pack to go anywhere.

They are typically only used for clitoral stimulation (external use) and are about the size of your finger.

I take mine on work trips or even in a purse as I might decided to vibe in public or my office once in a while.


quiet vibrator


Most don’t offer huge vibration power due to the smaller sized motors, but with a tapered tip they can give direct clitoral stimulation.

Basically, the opposite of wand vibrators that offer huge power in a large unit for broad clitoral stimulation.


Want to know how to use sex toys like a finger vibrator?

Finger vibrators are small discreet vibes that slide around your fingers and allow for amazing control.

Imagine if your finger just got electrified and wherever you move it, the vibes follow!


Hot Octopuss digit


Its that easy to use, that easy to control, and that easy to keep out of the way!

I love finger vibrators for two things. Packing it for a trip as they are tiny. But also for during penetrative sex.

I need the clitoral stimulation to climax, so while my partner is penetrating me, I use the finger vibrator on myself! This allows me to climax much faster.

Sometimes we switch it up and Ill put the finger vibrator on his hand. Then I let him touch me during foreplay.

These are designed for external use only. No penetration unless its your finger tips or just the tip of the vibrator.



If you want to know how to use sex toys, I suggest women start with a beginner dildo.


It allows your body to understand the pleasure and how to use basic toys before going more advanced with a bunch of features and vibration.

Plus, dildos when used properly, can be just as pleasurable if not more than a vibrator!

Here the main types of dildos and how to use them!

  • Stainless Steel Dildos

Stainless steel dildos are very unique because they offer a super slick, mirror like finish, with a lot of weight behind them.

If you’re not a fan of the “dragging” effect some silicone vibrators or dildos apply during penetration, a stainless steel dildo might be just what you’re looking for!

sex toys for men, male sex toy, anal beads

With just a dab of lube, you have friction-less penetration!

Stainless steel dildos are also the heaviest dildo you can get. These metal dildos offer a unique feeling during use due to the weight. A fullness, and satisfaction that is hard to obtain from normal dildos.

Something some women absolutely crave! Plus you can run it under hot or cold water for fun temperature play!

  • Double-ended Dildos

Double-ended dildos are great for two things.

You can experience two different style dildos for the price of one.

Such as a curved g-spot end, or a straight deep penetrating end. Allowing you to switch off throughout your masturbation session. Also, great for beginners who want to try multiple forms of stimulation without purchasing two individual dildos.

Another benefit is if you plan to share with your partner. You can lay claim to one end and let your partner have the other. It’s not the best idea to share the same end due to swapping bacteria, but this way everyone can stay safe and satisfied!

  • Wearable / Harness Dildos

A wearable dildo is something a woman can insert and then use to peg a partner. This is great for lesbian relationships or if the guy enjoys being pegged by his female partner.


Spareparts Tomboi Harness, sex toys for lesbians


Wearable dildos are unique in they give the lady wearing it a lot of pleasure too. Harness dildos often don’t allow the user to get as much pleasure as the receiver.

Harness dildos get strapped in to the user, these harnesses can be made from leather, straps, clips, or underwear.


  • Glass Dildos

Glass dildos are often the most visually appealing dildos available.

They can be crystal clear or have just about every color imaginable swirled throughout it. Coming in all shapes, sizes, and colors there is sure to be one for you.


sex toys for women, diskret


Glass dildos are similar to stainless steel dildos, in that they offer zero drag during penetration with just a dab of lube applied to the tip.

They can also be used for fun temperature play by running under hot or cold water before use.

Lastly, glass is extremely non-porous making them very safe to use from a hygienic level. Bacteria can easily be washed off after with just soap and water.  



Ben-Wa-Balls are typically round spheres that come in various sizes and weights. They are used for both pleasure and “training”.

Using Ben-Wa-Balls to train also known as doing Kegel exercises can make a women feel tighter and experience longer lasting orgasms.

You can insert heavier weighted ben-wa-balls which force you to squeeze your Kegel muscles to hold in. This strengthens your core “vaginal muscles” which brings a world of benefits. It allows you to feel tighter and experience more intense orgasms.

Ben-wa-balls seem to get a bad reputation in the sex industry. Women use them expecting to put them in and feel these mind-blowing orgasms. While they can bring great pleasure when used properly, they are more of a slow simmering boil of pleasure rather than an explosive takeover.

Slide these in during foreplay, a night out, or even before daily household activities. They bring small waves of pleasure every time you squeeze or move your thighs.

I love using weighted ben-wa-balls while sitting in a rocking chair. Fantasizing and the slow rolling waves of pleasure as you rock can bring you to orgasm over a period of time. This edging type sensation can bring explosive orgasms with the right amount of patience.


  • Smart Ben-Wa-Balls

Smart Ben-Wa-Balls vibrate with response to your body. If you squeeze, they can vibrate at varying degrees of intensity. Some you can control remote-controlled and adapt to your body movements.


luna smart bead, sex toys for couples


These are great for building sexual endurance, edging, and of course strengthening those Kegel muscles.


  • Training Ben-Wa-Balls

Training Ben-Wa-Balls are used for the sole purpose of tightening your vaginal core, bringing you longer lasting orgasms, more intense orgasms, and more frequent orgasms.

Some training Ben-Wa-Balls even come with an app that allow you to “track your workouts”. Use them to determine how strong your orgasms are and how much you’ve progressed over time. Just 10 minutes a day can make a world of difference!

G Balls 2

These are great for women who recently gave birth, become looser with age, or find leaking to be a concern.


  • Glass Ben-Wa-Balls

Glass Ben-Wa-Balls are great for beginners. They look amazing and can slide in with ease. They clank together with movement which sends good stimulating pleasure.



If you’re concerned about getting them in, simply apply a small dab of lube around the glass and slide them in. Remember the more lube you apply, the harder you will have to squeeze to hold them in.

Don’t worry about removing them. If you feel they “got stuck” up there, simply relax and try pushing them out using your core muscles, while laying on your back. You can also jump up and down with your legs spread. Avoid using your fingers to dig inside if you don’t need to. Unlike the anus, your vagina has a natural blocker to keep them from going to far up inside you.

But if this is a serious concern for you, try ben-wa-balls that have a string attached. You can leave the string out, and simply pull when you want to remove them.


How To Use Sex Toys For Couples:

If you’re wondering how to use sex toys for couples to spice up a relationship, there are toys specifically designed for this.

However, my personal experience is that just about any sex toy you enjoy can be used in the bedroom with a partner.

Let your partner use a sex toy on you for amazing foreplay, or let them use it on you to finish you off.

The main difference between using a vibrator, butt plug, or anal bead during sex and a specific “sex toy for couples” is that some toys are designed to give both of you pleasure during use simultaneously.

This can often lead to shared orgasms at the exact same time!

  • Wearable Vibrators For Her

Some couples sex toys can be inserted in her and provide internal pleasure, clitoral pleasure, while also allowing him to penetrate.

Not only do these give you the much-desired clitoral stimulation during sex, they also send vibes up his shaft with each and every thrust.


lelo ida


Making these the most popular “sex toys for couples” on the market.

Here are a few of the best available:





Cock Rings:

Cock rings are typically a silicone ring that goes around the base of his shaft during sex.

The ring provides constriction of blood flow leaving his penis.

What does that do for him?

Keeps him extra hard, makes him last longer, and gives him more intense orgasms.


we vibe pivot


What does that do for me?

A lot of cock rings vibrate. This means every time he penetrates you, it will provide mind-blowing clitoral stimulation on top of it!

I love cock rings because they are non-intrusive, hands-free way to get clitoral stimulation during sex.

Here is the best cock ring for beginners.


Panty vibrators are so much fun! Great for couples looking to take “date night” to a whole new level!

Slide a panty vibrator in her panties before you go out and use the control to edge her closer and closer to orgasm!

What’s more exhilarating than controlling her orgasm while out in public!

It’s super sexy to take to dinner, the movies, bars, or club.

Whatever mood you where in when you went out, be prepared to get ravaged when you get home! This is the ultimate foreplay tool!

These are only for external clitoral and vaginal vibration.


Who doesn’t love a little kinky action now and then?!

BDSM and kink toys can add a great deal of pleasure and big boost in foreplay for any couple. It’s more about “whats to come” and the anticipation than the actual toy delivering the pleasure.

If you want to break that “mundane” sex routine, a new kink toy can be exactly what you’ve been looking for.

Here is a list of various BDSM toys you can use to spice up that sex life!




-Tantra Feathers


-Body Harnesses

-Sex Swings




-Bondage Rope

-Gag Ball


Beginner Sex Toys For women

If you want to know how to use sex toys, you’re most likely wondering which are the easiest to start with too.

You should really take 3 main things into consideration when picking out your first few sex toys:


Stick with something manageable. Don’t go with the huge vibrator to start.

Most women think, ohh the bigger the shaft is, the more pleasure I will get from it.

While bigger shafts can provide the “girth” and “fullness” you desire, often beginners get overwhelmed and can’t receive it or the pleasure they desire.

Start small and work your way up. The only exception is if you know you’re already the size queen who loves it large and in charge!

For beginners stick to a shaft size of 1.5” diameter or less.


You might think the app controlled, waterproof, crazy swirling vibrators are the coolest thing!

It’s okay, I think they are awesome too.

But if you’re a beginner, think about what features you actually need? What forms of stimulation do you actually need?

If you don’t plan to take it in the bath tub, why pay for something that is 100% waterproof? All you need is spalshproof for an easy clean up.

Unless you plan to control it from your phone, don’t pay the extra to have a app controlled toy.

Start with the basics and work your way up.

The high-end toys can get expensive, and if you are not absolutely sure you will enjoy the stimulation it provides, you don’t want to waste money.

-Ease of Use

 Lastly is how user-friendly the sex toy is.

If you want to know how to use sex toys, start with something that is easy to use!

It should have a couple basic functions, basic features, and controlled by 1 or 2 buttons.

Nothing that requires a thick manual to power up and flip through the modes.

Here are my all time favorite sex toys for women who are just starting out:


Introducing sex toys to the bedroom

Going solo? No problem.

Masturbate with your sex toys first. Test how you like to hold them, what zones do you like stimulated, what angle, pressure, and speed do you want it at?

Learn this in the comfort of your own bed, by yourself, with a good amount of time to spare.

You want to be relaxed, turned on, and lubed up.

But what if I want to introduce sex toys with my partner?

This becomes slightly more difficult.

The first thing you should do is talk about it. Talk about it in person the next time you’re turned on together, or in light conversation at the dinner table, around anniversary, holiday, birthdays, and valentines day gives you an excuse to bring it up as a special gift.

You can also do it through texting. The next time you are sexting or talking sassy through texts, bring up how you want to try a sex toy in the bedroom together.

If they are all for it, well you’ve already masturbated with it and know what you like, so now its time to show your partner!

Guide them with your hand or use vocal communication in the bedroom so they know exactly how you like.

Want to give them pleasure through the sex toy as well? Start with something basic like a cock ring and see where things go from there!


Have questions, comments or concerns?

Leave them in the comments section below and Ill be sure to respond in a timely fashion!



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