By Mistress Kay of DiskretAdultLife, Dec. 22nd, 2018
You’ve had single orgasms, and you’re ready to figure out how to have multiple orgasms. Maybe you’ve given it a couple of times and maybe this is your first stop on a curious journey, but either way, we’re glad that you’re looking for new pleasure avenue for your body! No matter what your genitals are, your body is likely capable of learning how to have multiple orgasms. Each distinct orgasm may not feel the same as the current orgasms you’ve grown to know and love, but with practice, self-learning, and time, it’s possible for most bodies to learn to enjoy multiple climaxes. To get started on your journey to learn how to have multiple orgasms, start with these tips:
How To Have Multiple Orgasms:
Step 1: Stop Feeling the Pressure
After the entire spiel, I know you’re ready to jump into your masturbation session and force your body to do exactly what you want. It’s YOUR body, after all – shouldn’t it do what you want? Unfortunately, that type of mindset doesn’t tend to work too well when it comes to learning how to have multiple orgasms (or in most sexual topics, really).
Instead, you’re going to have to learn how to let go of the pressures you’re feeling to have those multiple orgasms. I know, I know. You’re reading all of this to learn how to have multiple orgasms, and you’re eager to put it into use. But at the same time, such a single-focus on a single “achievement” is surprisingly detrimental to your sexuality. What if your body doesn’t do it easily? What if it takes months (or years!) to learn how to have multiple orgasms? If you’re only focused on meeting your goal, you’re going to feel awfully disappointed in yourself until you manage it.
Another alternative is to focus on the pleasure and the journey. Instead of focusing on achieving those multiple orgasms, focus on the fact that you’re learning new things about yourself. Your goals could include smaller, self-discovery things like “Find a new pleasure spot” or “Enjoy stimulation after my first orgasm”. Focusing on the journey – and the self-discovery – that learning how to have multiple orgasms can give you is more likely to lead to success in the end.
Step 2: Schedule Lots of Time
You probably have a good idea of how much time it takes for you to have a single orgasm. But if you’re hoping to train your body into having multiple orgasms, you’re likely going to need a lot more time than that. Especially if your body doesn’t have single orgasms easily, you’ll want to plan out a good amount of time – at least two hours.
This gives you plenty of time in the process. It especially gives you a bit of time to enjoy the sensation of your growing arousal. “Quickie” is not the name of the game if you’re trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms. Instead, you should be planning a “slow burn” of your arousal. The more aroused you are to begin, the easier it’s going to be for your body to have a chance at multiple orgasms. Bask in the pleasure of the arousal and sexuality, and you’re more-likely to enjoy those multiple orgasms.
Step 3: Pick Your Favorite, Non-Numbing Sex Toy
Do you usually use your hands? What about sex toys? Depending on what’s been going on, you might need to switch it up. If you’ve been trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms with your fingers without much luck, it might be time to give sex toys a try. If you’ve been trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms with your favorite wand vibrator, it might be time to give your fingers a try – or at least a different sex toy. While some sex toys work fantastically for the first orgasm, they can reduce sensation for further orgasms, so it’s worth experimenting with a few different methods of pleasure to find a good one that seems like it might produce a lot of orgasmic results.
In particular, a lot of vagina-owning individuals are finding success with air-suction toys such as the Womanizer series or the Satisfyer series. These toys work by surrounding the clitoris and providing pleasurable, pulsating suction. Both lines of toys have been known to provide women’s first experiences with multiple orgasms, and it might be worth exploring if you’re not finding success with your current fingers and sex toys.
Step 4: Play as Much as You’d Like
Now that you’re set up and ready to play, it’s time to do just that: play! Like we’ve mentioned before, you need to set aside some good time to enjoy that playtime. Let your fingers explore your body. Enjoy the building orgasmic energy as you get closer and closer to orgasm. You might even consider edging yourself and allowing yourself to get near to orgasm and then back away again.
You might consider experimenting with your orgasmic cues and how you’ve always reached orgasm. I know, I know. You know exactly what your body likes, but that’s just it: if we do what your body always does, your body is going to do what it always does! That means that it may not achieve those multiple orgasms from the way you’re doing things. Instead, consider mixing things up.
In particular, as you approach orgasm, consider pushing outwards instead of letting your muscles tighten. Consider focusing on allowing your body, and your muscles, to relax against the impending orgasm, and see if that allows your body to climb up that orgasmic wave again and again.
Step 5: Never Cease Stimulation
Another common tip that’s given is to never cease stimulation. Even after you’ve had your orgasm and things feel sensitive, you need to continue to stimulate your orgasmic areas and your body. Even if it’s not through direct pressure (as the area is too sensitive), consider playing around with the surrounding areas and keeping the sexual energy high instead of letting it drop back down. Multiple orgasms can be as mental as they are physical, and you need to keep your brain riding high on that sexual arousal!
You’ve given those steps a chance, but you’re still not finding that multi-orgasmic bliss that you’ve been dying for. That’s perfectly fine! I’d never want you to stress about something that’s integrated with your sex life, but at the same time, I understand if you’re just trying to “find out what all the fuss is about”. If your body isn’t cooperating with some of the above tips, you might want to jump into the trenches and consider some of these more time-intensive options:
How to Have Multiple Orgasms Troubleshooting: Read Some Books:
I’ve given you some basic information on how to have multiple orgasms, but let’s be fair: what I’ve written is nowhere near the depth and breadth of what you can find in a book purely designed for that purpose. Instead of a 10 minute read, you’ll spend hours learning about the basics of your anatomy, how to improve the likelihood of enjoying multiple orgasms, and how to go about masturbating and having sex in a way that’ll help your body coax out those waves of pleasure. So with that in mind, if you’re ready to dive even further into the journey for multiple orgasms, it’s time to pick up an educational book.
Books we’d recommend include “The Multi-Orgasmic Woman” by Mantak Chia and Rachel Carlton Abrams, “The Multi-Orgasmic Man” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams, “The Multi-Orgasmic Couple” by all four aforementioned authors, “The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women” by Mikaya Heart, or “Female Ejaculation: Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm” by Jeffre TallTrees and Somraj Pokras. While some of these books are specifically-focused on how to have multiple orgasms, others are just focused on orgasms in general – including how to get in touch with your body’s orgasmic potential. That can help you down the road as you’re trying to learn how to coax your body into enjoying multiple orgasms.
How to Have Multiple Orgasms Troubleshooting: Practice Those Kegels!
Do you know that your pelvic floor muscles are pretty intricately tied into your orgasms and orgasmic potential? When you’re getting close to orgasm, you can feel a tightening of the muscles around your genital areas. A good chunk of these muscles are part of the pelvic floor. That lovely tightening and releasing that you experience during orgasm? Yep, you guessed it! It’s caused by the tightening and releasing of the muscles of the pelvic floor.
As you can imagine, this makes your pelvic floor muscles – and their strength or lack thereof – an important part of your orgasmic potential. Some people find that their pelvic floor muscles are so tight after orgasm that it makes it near-impossible to get them to tighten strongly enough for another orgasm. Some people find that their pelvic floor muscles are so exhausted after the first orgasm that they’re unable to tighten up enough to cause another orgasm.
That’s why knowing your body – and practicing your kegels – can be a fantastic addition to learning how to have multiple orgasms.
Practice Kegel PC Muscles:
Practicing your kegels doesn’t have to be hard, either. First, in case you don’t know what those muscles are, we need to give you a simple way to figure out where those muscles are located. Lucky for us, we use them multiple times a day. Next time you’re peeing, stop midstream. There you go. Those are the pelvic floor muscles we need to target. Get an idea of what those muscles are, what they feel like to control, and then finish your restroom time.
At another time (doing kegels during urination is NOT recommended), you’ll need to spend some time focusing on these muscles. Lucky for us, doing kegel exercises are virtually impossible to see (unless you have a “kegel exercise face”). That means you can do them while you’re busy. Watching your favorite TV show on the couch? Think about your kegel muscles. Standing in line at your coffee shop? Could be kegel time. Bored at your office desk waiting for an e-mail response to come in? There you go: kegels!
So what are you supposed to do with those kegel muscles once you’ve “thought” about them? Well, you’re supposed to work them out – just like any other muscle on the body! That includes tightening them and releasing the tension – over and over. As you start, you might consider a simple exercise such as “Tighten as tight as possible for 5 seconds then slowly release the tension for 5 seconds then repeat”. As you get better at isolating those muscles, you might reduce the seconds to 3 seconds or 2 seconds. As your experience grows, you may even consider small “pulses” of the muscles – maybe even to the beat of your favorite music! The important part is that you’re isolated the muscles, squeezed them, and made them workout.
Once you feel like you’re ready for more of a challenge, it might be time to consider picking up kegel balls – or reading some articles about advanced kegel exercises. In the journey to learn how to have multiple orgasms, being in touch with your pelvic floor muscles and having control over them can go a long way!
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