Sex Tips & Advice

Mutual Masturbation Is The Latest Craze!

By: Jessica & Lee Founders of Diskret_Adult_Life (Mutual Masturbation)

mutual masturbation


Mutual masturbation is one of the most underrated sex acts imaginable!

Imagine watching your partner touch themselves but you must keep your hands all to yourself! It’s the ultimate tease…

Then when you begin to get extremely turned on, you can start slowly touching yourself. Showing them exactly how you like it done.

It can increase your level of intimacy, spice things up, and lead to extremely powerful orgasms!

Show your partner masturbation is a natural and exciting way to get off together! Not something to be shameful of or hide in privacy.

I’m a firm believer we should be sharing those pleasurable moments with each other!

Let me walk you through exactly what mutual masturbation is and how to make it a toe-curling, pleasurable experience for the both of you!

With these simple tips and techniques, you can avoid some major pitfalls that couples fall into and ruin mutual masturbation forever.

Don’t give it a go without knowing these first (Click to jump to a specific topic):



What is Mutual Masturbation:

Mutual masturbation is the extremely hot act of masturbating together, side-by-side.

Masturbation is the act of touching and stimulating yourself sexually to orgasm (or sometimes not).

Doing it with a partner makes it mutual and is a great way to bring each other closer than ever both physically and mentally.


During mutual masturbation you can:

  • Kiss
  • Erotic Massaging
  • Fingering
  • Handjobs
  • Testicular Massage
  • Use Sex Toys
  • Anal Play
  • Watching Porn
  • Grinding
  • Dry Humping
  • Licking
  • And oh so much more!


mutual masturbating


While mutual masturbation might seem like a new concept, it includes just about everything you’ve most likely already tried (except penetration).

Is penetration allowed during mutual masturbation?

Technically the term “mutual masturbation” does not include penetrative sex, but every time my partner and I start with mutual masturbation it leads to penetrative sex…


Did I just break the rules?

Hell no, there are no “rules” around it. If you want to try mutual masturbation to avoid penetrative sex or because you’re not physically able to have penetrative sex…

Then simply don’t penetrate during or after the masturbating.

How you decided to use mutual masturbation is up to you!

You make the rules, this is simply something that can be used for extreme foreplay and build sexual tension.

Or used to help relive that sexual tension!

Its completely up to you how you want to use this technique!


Together or solo?

Does mutual masturbation mean I can’t touch them? Just stimulate myself?

Remember what I just said about the “rules”?

For mutual masturbation you can keep things separate (you touch yourself, and they touch themselves).

Or you can blend it! Start by touching yourself and watching them, then work your way closer and closer until you are “lending a helping hand” to them as well.

As long as it doesn’t physically involve penetration of your genitals, its still considered mutual masturbation!


What Are The Benefits of Masturbating Together?

It would be easier to cover the things that mutual masturbation doesn’t benefit… But I’ll cover the main benefits most couples find from it. Also, the main benefits I’ve personally found from it.

Here is a list of problems mutual masturbation can help solve:

  • Relieve built up sexual tension
  • Relieve Stress
  • Amazing Form of Foreplay
  • Learn How Your Partner Loves To Be Touched & Stimulated
  • Increase Libido
  • Saving Yourself For Marriage
  • Avoid STI’s
  • Avoid Pregnancy
  • Holding Virginity Until Later
  • Stay Close Even In a Long Distance Relationship
  • Keeping Things New and Exciting In A Long-Term Relationship.


Mutual masturbating had this stigma of “only for teens who are saving themselves”.

I personally think this is a great idea, and even something you can talk to your teen about between ages of 14-19 if you want them to take this alternate route.

But mutually masturbating together has surpassed this stigma and now a lot of couples even those married for decades are having fun with it.


Because it is hot as hell!

Sitting there watching your partner get off is a very intense show… Let me tell you!

I found it’s great for foreplay. While my partner and I have been together for a long time, it was a great way to add some “spice” back in the bedroom.

I could watch her use a vibrator and she could watch me stroke my cock with a masturbation sleeve. This often led to penetrative sex, based on our personal preference.

But it doesn’t have to lead to this…

We just used it as the ultimate foreplay tool before sex.


It’s a great learning tool!

There is no better instructor on how to please your partner, than themselves personally showing you!

Its like having a cheat sheet on the test. She or he is showing you all the answers!

I would watch my partner touch herself and pay close attention. How fast were her fingers moving, was she focusing on penetration or clitoral stimulation? Circular motions or side-to-side?

For couples who don’t like a lot of communication in the bedroom, this is your opportunity to show him or her exactly how you like it done!


Don’t forget to try these hot techniques during mutual masturbation:

When you start mutually masturbating it opens the door for so much more…

Try these sexy techniques to mix it up even more:


Dirty Talk:

Start instructing them exactly what you want to see them do. Maybe you want to see him stroke his cock in a long slow motion, or short and fast? Perhaps you want to see her penetrate herself and rub her g-spot. Softly spoken directions can be a huge turn on for you both!

Another form of dirty talk is asking them how your doing. How are they enjoying the show? Do you like it when you play with yourself in that manor?


Sex Toys:

Mutually masturbating cannot be complete without your favorite sex toys!

For one, its extremely hot to watch your partner use a sex toy on themselves. But secondly, it just makes it that much more enjoyable for you both.

Why not bring the most pleasure possible?

Plus, if you plan to actually mutual masturbate to orgasm, for most women a vibrator will do this in the quickest fashion. For some women its even a necessity to use one for clitoral stimulation.

I highly recommend a penis sleeve for men. I personally enjoy the stroker for simplicity or if you’re more experienced something like the hot octopuss has some amazing features.


hot octopuss


Women have a world of options, but I like it best when my partner uses something small that allows me to see what’s going on. For that reason, I love it when she uses something like the tango bullet vibrator or digit finger vibrator.


Hot Octopuss Digit


Control Their Orgasm:

One way to mutually masturbate is by controlling their sex toy to edge them near orgasm.

Some vibrators offer a controller with them. That allows you to control the pattern and intensity of the toy your partner is using!

Bring on the intense vibrations until you see them near orgasm, then back off to something softer.

Talk about the ultimate tease!

Check out these sex toys below that offer this feature:

orgasm control


I can go “ohh so many ways” with this! But adding some light bondage in with the mutual masturbation can be really sexy!

If you thought watching your partner masturbate would be hot, imagine tying them up and “forcing” them to masturbate. While you’re not actually forcing them… open communication is important in determining what goes and doesn’t.

The idea is it can look and feel like they are being held in erotic positions that also pleasure them!

My personal favorite is tying her up with an extremely powerful wand vibrator strapped to her leg. This applies pressure from the wand directly on her clitoris and prevents it from moving anywhere else!


wand vibrator


Watching her moan with pleasure as she has no option but to sit there and take the intense vibration to orgasm; is hands down one of the sexiest things I’ve done to her.

You can also tie them in a way that forces them to touch you, or leaves them exposed for you to touch them!


Orgasm Control:

Teasing your partner to just before orgasm and then letting them sit there. Its called “edging” and it’s a fun game to bring your partner up, down, and back up again. The orgasms that come after edging multiple times are extremely powerful and often lead to female ejaculation!

Try this on your partner for an over the top, full body, eye-rolling experience!



Want to give that naughty nurse costume a try?

As if you needed an excuse… Mutual masturbation is the perfect time to introduce some roleplaying.


Costumes are fun but often hard to actually have sex in. This way you can dress up and touch yourself without having to get into any difficult sex positions with it on!


Good Sex Positions for Mutual Masturbation:

Speaking of sex positions… What are the best sex positions for mutual masturbation?


1.) Sit Facing Eachother

mutual masturbation position

2.) Laying side-by-side

mutual masturbation position

3.) Standing Air Masturbating

mutual masturbation position

4.) The Love Chair

mutual masturbation position

5.) Damn Girls!


Mutual Masturbation Porn (NSFW LINKS)

While this blog probably isn’t safe for work anyway, here you go.

These pornographic links show mutual masturbation at it’s finest!

(Copy and paste them into your URL, a direct link can flag my blog) (NSFW) (NSFW) (NSFW)

These links show you visually some couples that know how mutual masturbating works.

So, take a tip or two from them, or watch it with your partner while you reenact it.

Watching porn together can be a huge turn on. But having it on in the background while you start masturbating each other can be super sexy too!


Lesbian mutual masturbation

lesbian masturbating

Lesbian mutual masturbation is not much different than straight couple masturbating.

The main difference is you really won’t be having penis penetrative sex, unless using some form of strap-on.

In that case I highly recommend this double-sided dildo. The lesbian reviews are out of this world and its unique in the fact its penetrating both of you during use.

double dildo

Start without penetration, move to using a sex toy, possibly a sex toy on each other, before using something like the double-sided dildo.

If only one of you prefers penetration, something like a harness and dildo can be used. Here is the most popular, comfortable fitting one I’ve found.

Spareparts Tomboi Harness, sex toys for lesbians

Anal Play:

Guy or girl… Who doesn’t love a little anal play in their life?!

This is the perfect time to introduce anal beads or butt plugs.

You will be masturbating in front of your partner, nothing is sexier than them knowing they have a butt plug in while doing so.

This also leads to blended orgasms!

These are powerful orgasms brought on by stimulating two things at once. Such as anus and clit, anus and penis, or anus and vaginal penetration.

So, if your into anal play, don’t forget to throw that in your masturbation sessions!

Just remember, one anal toy per person. The bacteria on the toy is specific to your own body and should never be shared with your partner during the same masturbation session.

If you want to share it, make sure it is properly cleaned in between exchange of use.


Long Distance Couple Masturbation

Are you traveling for work?

Are you in a relationship with someone far away?

Keep your sex life alive and well with mutual masturbation.

With todays technology, a long distance relationship can still be extremely hot!

The key is using a phone, cam, or remote-controlled sex toy.

Nothing is stopping you from talking to your partner, seeing your partner, and even helping pleasure your partner with these devices!

Mix in some dirty talk over the phone and take turns giving or receiving instructions about what to do. Video calls are even better!


Mutual Masturbation Makes Sex Better!

Wait a minute… Did you just say better?

Yes! Its more likely that both men and women experience stronger orgasms during masturbation than they have during regular intercourse!

How does that work?

When you’re flying solo you have time to focus on building your sexual arousal levels, stroking all the right places at exactly the right time, and have immediate feedback if something is working well or not.

Unless your partner can read minds, only you are able to do this!

So, this is your time to show your partner what gives you earth-shattering orgasms. That way he or she can repeat these tactics later!


How To Start Mutual Masturbating:


mutual masturbating


How do I tell my partner I want to give mutual masturbation a go?

Will he or she think its really weird?

Sure, you can communicate very openly and just say tell your partner you saw this article and wanted to give it a go. But if you are concerned with the reaction, you can try some more “round-about” ways to giving it a try.



We all do it in one form or another… Sending your partner sexy texts is a great way to build sexual anticipation.

I use it as a form of foreplay! I start sexting her early in the morning, we are both so worked up by the time we get home, we skip dinner and go right for dessert!

The next time you are sexting, tell them you want to watch them get off without having sex.

This will allow you to feel out your partners response. If they find it weird, you can explain to them the benefits, or just laugh it off and pursue it at another time.


No-Touching Rule

It’s a dangerous game…

Try going an entire session without actually touching your partner!

This way they have no choice but to watch you get off as you watch them get off!

It can be a huge tease, turn-on, and lead to mind-blowing orgasms for the both of you!


Watching her masturbate (Tips For Him)


masturbating together


Is it weird just watching her masturbate?

What should I do with my hands?

How do I react?

The first time might seem a little awkward. Just imagine how awkward your first time doing anything with a partner was. Your first kiss, first time having sex, first time dancing…

Typically most things are not a homerun the first time. But mutual masturbation has got to be one of the easiest things to hit a grand slam on the first go.

Why is that?

You only need to touch yourself!

Don’t worry about pleasing her, just focus on the show she is giving you while you please yourself.

The biggest thing is timing. You don’t want to cum super fast and then sit there for 20 minuites while she works her way up to an orgasm.

Chances are it takes her longer to get there than you. So, control your orgasm.

Take your time and slowly build your stimulation. Build it until you feel like you might orgasm and then stop. Simply take a break!

I try to hold off until she orgasms. Watching her orgasm usually sets me over the top anyway.

If you are using a penis sleeve, it can be really hard to hold off. If your able to… I’ve actually climaxed right away, took a 10 minute break just watching her before starting again on myself.

If you time it out right, and she takes awhile to orgasm, you can sometimes squeeze two in for her one. Just make sure you communicate that plan ahead of time because otherwise she might try to rush since you’ve already came.


If you decided to help her with the masturbation:

During mutual masturbation some guys can’t help but give her a lending hand.

If that’s the route you want to take, here are a few major tips:


Focus on her clit:

There are 8,000 nerve endings packed into the clitoris.

Over 70% of women require some form of clitoral simulation in order to get off.


clitoral stimulation


In other words, don’t ignore the clit guys!

You can start by caressing her vaginal lips and moving your fingers in small circular motions with medium pressure.

Ask her to show you the exact speed and location she desires it.

Have her even place her hand on top of yours to help guide you in the right spot!

Adjust speed, pressure, and motion according to her body signals.


Lube Helps!

One of the most popular masturbation techniques for women is applying pressure in small circular motions over the clit with the index and middle finger together.

This masturbation technique feels so much better with just a dab of lube applied! Not all women can produce huge quantities of natural lube all on their own.

Oil based lubes will last longer but can stain the sheets, so make sure a towel is down first if that’s the route you want to go.


all natural lubricant


Stimulate her U-Spot:

The U-spot is a small area of skin under her clitoris and above her urethra.

This area is extremely sensitive for most women. A properly lubed up finger should do the trick. Otherwise a more broad head vibrator is sure to hit the sensitive zone.

With a little practice the vibrating head or “rabbit ears” will hit her u-spot and create a strong sensation that feels amazing when combined with some penetration of the vibrator shaft or your fingers!


Use a Vibrator:

Want to know the easiest way to get her off?

It’s not rocket science here… A vibrator can simply do so many things our hands are not capable of.

It can vibrate, thrust, stimulate multiple zones simultaneously.

Here is the best vibrator for beginners. Those looking for something basic, easy to use, and provide a great boost of pleasure during mutual masturbation. Its called the Gigi 2. The tip is broad and curved for great g-spot stimulation or clitoral stimulation. It’s smaller in size and super easy to control.

If you’re more experienced or know she requires something more extreme. Check out this vibrator by FemmeFunn. This thing can do it all! It vibrates, thrusts, ribbed for stimulation, and provides both internal and external pleasure! This will absolutely blow her socks off!


esszenza vibrator


Watching Him Masturbate (Tips For Her)



Don’t worry ladies, he isn’t judging you or how you look while you masturbate.

He is enjoying the show and will display that further as he cant resist touching himself in the process.

If you’re super concerned or nervous about masturbating in front of him, make sure to keep the communication open.

Ask him, do you like it when I do this? What do you want me to do to myself? What should I do with this vibrator in my hand?


If you want to help stimulate him check out these simple but effective tips:


Ask him to show you:

Ask him to show you how he likes his shaft gripped an stroked.

Take note of his grip. Is it just his fingers? Does he focus on the tip, entire shaft, balls, or perineum? Does he have short fast strokes or long full strokes?

You can replicate this later now that you know he likes it like that.


Make sure to lube up:

No guy likes a rough, dragging, hand job. Its best when it replicates the inside of moist vagina right?

Well if you’re using your hand or masturbation sleeve, make sure to lube it up really well!

There is no such thing as too much lube in this case.

You can use a water-based lube or oil-based lube. If using a silicone masturbation sleeve stick with a water-based lube as the harsh oil-based lube can break down the surface of the sex toy over an extended amount of time.

Different Strokes For Different Fokes!

During mutual masturbation make sure to change up your grip. The standard 5 finger death grip might feel good for a bit but it gets old.

Every guy has a different “preferred” stroke.

Make sure you’re not squeezing his shaft to hard or stroking to fast. It’s better when the hand job is built up over time leading to an explosive orgasm. Plus, you don’t want him feeling any discomfort during the process either!

Switch your strokes and grip while asking for feedback. If he doesn’t enjoy it just simply move on. Find one he really likes and stick with it a bit. His body language will also be a dead giveaway.

Don’t worry if he decides to take over just before orgasm and ejaculation. A lot of men like to control the pressure applied at this point for maximum pleasure!

If you’re concerned you’re doing it wrong. Just sit back and touch yourself. Take mental note of exactly how he does it.


Tease His Perineum:

The perineum is a soft patch of skin located between his scrotum and anus. When stimulated properly it can send huge waves of pleasure throughout his core.

During mutual masturbation make sure to take note of his perineum, just as you wish he takes note of your clitoris or g-spot.

Gently pressing your fingertips or a sex toy on this area is an awesome way to make standard handjobs 10x better!

If you want to introduce a vibrating prostate massager into your masturbating session, have it buzz here first. Get him nice and turned on. Then slowly insert into his rectum.

The perineum is a great way to transition from penis stimulation to anus stimulation.


Frequently Asked Questions

Still nervous to give mutual masturbation a try?

No worries, here are some of the commonly asked questions I hope I can fully answer for you!


Why Should I Try Mutual Masturbation?



When practiced safely, masturbating together is a great way to change things up. Instead of always having penetrative sex, try this and you still get the pleasure of orgasming!

It also doesn’t expose yourself to STD’s or risk of HIV and unplanned pregnancy.

Ready to explore your new fantasy?


Is Mutual Masturbation Safe?

Yes! Although some STDs can be transmitted through skin contact, masturbating together is far less risky than penetrative sex.

If you have cuts or abrasions on your skin, remember you could still contract an STD or HIV if you come in contact with another individuals bodily fluids.


Who Should Try Mutual Masturbation?

Anyone and everyone!

That’s the beauty of it! You can do it from long-distance, couples who want to wait to have penetrative sex, or couples who have been together a life time but looking for something new!

It’s a safe and extremely pleasurable way to tease and learn from your partner!

Masturbation is not something that is meant to always be practiced by thee lonesome!


If you have any questions please leave a comment below and I will happily answer them the same day!


Remember to spread the love! Share this blog with #diskretadultlife on any major social media platform (FB,IG, Twitter) and we will pick a winner each month for a free high quality Vibrator!


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