By Jane Jett, March 30th, 2018
Intimacy and Desire in a relationship are topics that should always garner some attention. Some believe that desire is not the most important aspect of a relationship, but few can actually be indifferent towards it. After all, desire is an essential part to a relationship. Without it, you’re going to have a hard time making things work.
So what exactly do I mean when I say desire and intimacy? Intimacy is profound and addresses attraction in multiple emotional, intellectual, and sexual manners. Desire focuses on one particular aspect of this: the sexual attraction we feel for our partner. What happens when desire leaves a relationship? The relationship begins to struggle. Especially when the desire becomes one-sided, the situation can become very painful. You can try to work together to restore the desire, intimacy, and closeness—some couples really manage to do it properly, but many couples also fail at it. Sometimes when the intimacy and desire are gone, they can not be recovered. It is far easier to take preemptive action to keep desire alive in your relationship from the beginning.
Here are but a few simple tips to ignite desire back into your relationship
- Talk honestly and openly about how you feel without blaming and accusing each other.When you speak frankly, it is as though a huge burden falls off of your soul. We often fear that we are too complicated and the other person won’t understand, but it’s worth a shot. If your partner understands you, this emotional closeness can translate back into physical closeness. This advice translates into your sex life as well. Communicate about what you like, what isn’t so great for you, and what you think you should work on.
- Fear closes us. Honestly talking about how we feel will keep us open and available to our partners.This point elaborates on the previous. If you and your partner haven’t lost your attraction to one another yet, make sure you’re opening up regularly. Being afraid to tell them what you like or dislike can cause hidden resentments to sneak into your relationship. Communication is one of the most important things in the relationship between two people, especially when it comes to desire.
- Maintain physical contact throughout the day, look each other in the eyes, and laugh with each other.Give kisses, embrace each other, and light caressing touches. These things often lead to deeper physically intimacy. Every relationship requires some kind of playfulness, both in the bedroom and out of the bedroom. An unexpected caress can leave your partner craving your touch, and can be the perfect precursor to some time in the bedroom later that night.
- Become aware of what you value and find attractive in your partner.Think long and hard about what makes your partner most attractive to you, and tell them often. Sometimes even your partner knows you love them, you should show it often. Tell them what exactly you find attractive. This can be anything from “Your skin smells incredibly delicious,” to “I find it really sexy when you look deep into my eyes.”
- Cultivate appreciation and respect for your partner.If you have ever felt like anything was missing from your relationship and you have worked through it, do your best to keep things fixed. Do not stop showing how much you care and never stop working on your relationship. Just because things are perfect at the moment does not mean you should ever stop trying. In order to keep it the flow of the relationship perfect you have to appreciate what you have.
- Surprise them with something they would have never expected. If you never clean the house, do it a couple of times and show your partner that you care about helping out and putting effort in. Surprise her with flowers, Ladies perhaps put together a romantic music list for him on Spotify. To spice things up give your partner a seductive massage with your favorite oils, Feed each other desert at a restaurant . This added time together can foster physical desire, especially if your partner is enamored by your desire to do something out of the box with them.
- Never make them think that they are not worth your attention (turn off your smartphones and televisions). Always give your partner your undivided attention, with the age of technology having us all constantly connected give your partner 100% of your attention. This opens the door for compliments and let them know how important they are to you. Nurture them when they are down and emotionally broken, let them know they are never alone and give your best to make them feel like they are your universe, because after all—they really are the most important person to you. Again, emotional closeness fosters physical closeness.
Problems with desire and intimacy are not anything that can be fixed off the cuff. That’s why taking the time to keep desire alive in your relationship is vital. Communication is the most important thing about this. If you’re feeling desire towards your partner, tell them.