By: Jessica & Lee Founders of Diskret_Adult_Life
Its time to turn your sex life to “expert” mode. Sex has always been this mysterious and private act that nobody shall speak of! However, in the past decade people have really started to open up about what goes on in the bedroom. Its time to pull back the shades and reveal the best sex tips that are sure to drive your partner wild! Stop guessing if you’re “doing it right” and stop worrying about if your partner is pleased. End each sexual encounter knowing “you left it all on the court”… or bed in this case. With these sex tips you will feel more confident and satisfied than ever before.
So, who came up with these “golden rules” for what to do or not to do in the bedroom? These sex tips are a combination of expert sexologist in the modern-day field. Experts like Jane Jett, Mistress Kay, and Annabelle Knight. These are the women who have helped mold and change the sex industry as we know it today. Also, its all about the data people! Data is boring and nobody likes to sift through thousands of testimonies, reviews, and surveys. Well not to me! I dug through it all and organized a master list of the best sex tips according to the general population of the U.S. So, lets get to it! What’s the most important thing to do, say, and keep in mind the next time things start to heat up:
One the most important things you can do for your partner and yourself is build the anticipation! It’s so often overlooked but I put it as number 1 on the best sex tips for a reason. It can make or break the entire experience! If you know you’ll be having a romantic evening with your partner. Don’t start to build the anticipation 10 minutes before hand. Start 10 hours before you even see them! Early that morning, start sending them brief texts. Let them know you’re thinking about what’s to come that evening… In turn, they will start thinking of it too.
The idea is you both will be thinking about ripping each other’s clothes off all day. By the time you see each other that evening, you’ll be skipping dessert and heading straight for the bedroom.
2.) Set the Mood
Tied in closely with building the anticipation and relaxing; don’t forget to set the mood! Make it nice, let them know you put some effort into it and you’ve been looking forward to spending quality time with them. These sex tips are about going above and beyond. Look at the details surrounding your evening, not just the time spent between the sheets!
Show your partner you were thinking of them when you set the mood. Put on some soft music from their favorite band. Light some of their favorite smelling candles. Dim the lights, draw a bath, pull out that special bottle of wine, lite the fireplace, or set out that special lingerie you’ve been dying to show them. Have that special sex toy laying out on the night stand in a spot they can clearly see.
The idea with this sex tip is to have this stuff prepared ahead of time. You don’t need to have it all lite and ready to go when they walk through the door… Setting it all up while in front them is still a sense of building the anticipation. But the fact you have it all shows you were ready and thinking about it ahead of time.
Just imagine this sex tip played out perfectly… Dinner ends, and you lite up their favorite candles, flip on the music, crack open the bottle of wine you’ve been saving, and draw a warm bath with a waterproof sex toy sitting in the corner, all while they just sit back and watch. Them watching you do this is a massive turn on. You know what your doing, planned it out, and ready to rock their world!
All orgasmic situations require one major thing! Relaxation of the mind and body. This can not be stressed enough… This is why its number three on the legendary sex tips list! Get comfortable and make sure your partner is comfortable. If they feel more comfortable at their place, in their own bed, then set it all up there. If you feel more secure with the doors lock, to keep a roommate, kids, or anyone else from unexpectedly barging in… lock the doors and close the blinds.
Once you feel private and secure, use little things that are simple but help you relax. Only you know what helps you and your partner relax the most. Perhaps it’s a glass of red wine, or a warm bath. Soft music and even slight breathing techniques can help you relax.
Relaxed individuals are much more open to receiving pleasure. They are also much more likely to orgasm. So don’t just read these sex tips and move on… If you don’t take away many, take this one sex tip and put it to use! Make sure your partner is fully relaxed. If that requires a full body massage with oil…. Well hell, we all know where that will lead you! ????
Quickes have their time and place… I will touch on that later. But if you want a legendary night to remember, it does not start with 5 minutes of foreplay! Some guys reading this right now are like what? What do you mean? I just rip her clothes off and stick it?! Yea guys… You know who you are! Please… Whatever you do, don’t be that guy!
We all want to get it on right away… But holding off is part of the experience. Especially for guys who don’t last that long in bed! You can blow your partners mind and have the best sex of your life with having only 5 minutes of actual penetrative sex. You heard me right, if you listen to these sex tips and perfect them, you can have 5 minutes of penetrative sex and yet the best sex of both of your lives.
For example, you start sexting your partner in the morning. As the day goes on your sexts get dirty and you let them know in excruciating detail exactly what you plan on doing to them. You prepare their favorite meal for dinner. After you set the mood appropriately (make them watch you do this) maybe you lay by the fireplace for a bit or take a warm bath together. Then you get to the bedroom and you watch some porn, makeout, massage their body. From there you stimulate them orally or with your hands. Work your way over to their favorite sex toy and start to use that on them.
At this point… even if you only last 3 minutes in one sex position, take a slight break while switching to a new sex position and last 3 more minutes in the new position, its okay! If she or he didn’t get theirs, finish them off with a great sex toy. This entire experience is so long and drawn out even if you don’t last long with physical penetrative sex, its still an amazing sexual experience. If you do all this and you do last long in bed… Hell, you can turn it into rocking their world for the entire night!
5.) Watch Porn
Watching porn is one of those sex tips you don’t have to do, but I highly recommend it. I understand its not for everyone… Some couples get really into it while others not so much. Here’s the thing, I highly suggest you try it at least once! If you give it a go, and decide its not your thing, so be it. But, remember guys… If you watch porn on your own, she might not be into the same thing you are.
Don’t start with hardcore BDSM porn for your first time. Start with some softcore porn or feminist porn (link is not direct porn). This type of porn is soft and great to turn on early and while you engage in foreplay have it going on in the background.
Do not focus strictly on the porn! It is there to supplement the situation. Focus on your partner and glance at it or watch together with mutual masturbation. But don’t ignore your partner to focus on the porn! That is a self-explanatory sex tip!
6.) Take Your Time
Time is your best friend. This sex tip has a lot of different standards for everyone. How long should sex take? Can it take too long? What if I orgasm quick? The best way and only real answer for your situation involves communication. Your standards might be vastly different than your partners. 20 minutes might seem like a long time for you, but might be what your partner considers a warm up. You should really just ask them to know the true answer of what they expect. It might be a little awkward of a conversation to have especially if it’s your first time with them.
For guys, I suggest a longer drawn out evening like explained above in the foreplay sex tip. Take your time; the best sex of your life isn’t going to happen in 5 minutes of quick and direct penetration. Build the anticipation and set the mood, make it a complete experience. Use a vibrator on him or her during your foreplay. Then check in with them “how does this feel” and “let me know when you want me to use mine”. You can get them really close to climaxing then use your penis to finish them off. Making sure they are completely satisfied and not left disappointed.
For women, be a tease! Don’t let them stick it in until both you and him can not bare it another second. Time is your friend… Take your time and make sure you are close to climaxing or extremely turned on before he even penetrates you the first time. If the situation is reversed and he often lasts much longer than you do. Either go for multiple orgasms in a single session, or get him very close through a male stimulator or oral sex before engaging in penetrative sex.
Everybody is unique. Everyone has different standards. Everybody enjoys different forms of stimulation. This single legendary sex tip can change your entire relationship. Women, guys are not mind readers. As much as you wish he would just “know” what you want, it doesn’t work like that. There is a really simple and effective way of making sure you get what you want, when you want it…. Just ask!
It might not be the sexiest thing to communicate during sex. But you know what… Giving your partner hours of stimulation that they don’t even enjoy isn’t “sexy” either. Every relationship must go through this at least once. Communicate during sex. It doesn’t have to be a half hour discussion about feelings and what your desires are. Just a simple “do you like that” or “how do you want it” will work. Also, speeds like “faster, harder, slower, or softer” works great. A single sentence or word can make all the difference!
Still not convinced you need to communicate during sex? This sex tip can work in a couple different fashions. Use your body to guide theirs. Take your hands and move his head to the position you want the oral, or take his hand and show him where your clit is. Its not demining or embarrassing. Not everyone will know exactly where your “sweet spot” is. So just show them by guiding them.
Experienced partners don’t need as much conversation during sex as a new sexual encounter. Once you have learned each other’s bodies, the pleasure they crave and desire, you don’t have to go through that each and every time. But even the most experienced relationships should give a sex tip during the act to hone in on the best sex experience possible! Strive for perfection each and every time will land you in some of the best sex you’ve ever had!
It’s not rocket science. It is not complicated. It’s so simple and yet can make a world of difference! Lube is a inexpensive way to take good sex and make it great. Weather you’re using sex toys, your finger, tongue, or penis. Lube will make you last longer, feel better and believe it or not make the sex safer. Prevent discomfort, pain, and even injury by just using a dab of lube before penetration.
For sex toys, I have a single simple rule. When using a silicone sex toy; stick with a water-based lube. If you are enjoying water sex (i.e. hot tub, shower, or pool) use a silicone-based lube as it will last much longer in a watery environment. If you use silicone-based lube on a silicone sex toy, it can break down the surface of the sex toy and make it unsafe for penetration.
For anal sex, lube is not a bonus. Lube is a necessity! Some basics of anatomy here… Your anus does not provide a natural lubricant when turned on like the vagina does. Lube is required for any anal sex or sex toy. Just a dab of lube can prevent pain or even injury. Keep it safe and keep it pleasurable!
9.) Erogenous zones
Focus on areas other than the genitals! This sex tip can go a long way. Not only during penetrative sex but during foreplay or sex toy use; focus on the areas that are begging to be touched. The erogenous zones include but not limited to: the inner thigh, neck, ear lobes, butt, nipples, and feet.
Caress, kiss, and lick these areas. Drive your partner wild by teasing them with these areas before going directly to the genital stimulation. Perfect for long drawn-out foreplay sessions. Don’t forget if you have a vibrator, use it on these areas too! The unique sensation is pleasurable when applied to different areas beyond the clit.
10.) Sex Positions
Different sex positions are great. I do feel people put to much emphasis on it, like if they can master this expert level sex position its going to make them a god in the bedroom. One position is not going to make you a god in the bedroom. A combination of these sex tips will however get you to that status.
Sex positions are a great way to change up the “daily routine” and keep things interesting. Like bringing a unique new sex toy to the bedroom, trying a new sex positions can be a huge turn on. Although sometimes they are awkward the first time, if you both enjoy one you might end up making a version of it that works for you both. While a sex position guide might give you different ideas, you will develop your own that is great for your body type and needs.
I personally believe eye contact can make or break a sex position. If you’re looking to feel closer to a partner and really turn them on; make sure they can see your eyes during the sex position. Even oral sex, while preforming head make a lot of eye contact to turn up the heat!
If you and your partner are into oral sex, the sex tips require an entirely dedicated blog. However, the beauty of oral sex is it allows you to even and balance the playing field of orgasms. If your partner requires more stimulation and more time than you do to orgasm. Start by providing stimulation through oral. This way you can time your climaxes together. Not that you can’t always finish them off with oral if you orgasm first but keeping it at the start lands it in the foreplay category. Foreplay is king when it comes to becoming rememberable in the bedroom.
12.) Clitoral Stimulation
70% of women require some form of oral stimulation in order to climax. Huge American surveys have proven this time and time again. So, if you take away anything from these amazing sex tips let it be this… Do not ignore her clitoris! You can stimulate it in so many different ways, with your tongue, a sex toy, your fingers, or penis. Whatever you want to do, whatever she desires most. Just please don’t skip the foreplay and clitoral stimulation.
If you want penetrative sex and she wants clitoral stimulation, use a cock ring! The most over looked sex toy that brings couples closer than ever. A cock ring is a great first sex toy for couples and can completely change your sex life forever… It’s that good! Slide a cock ring on the base of his shaft. This constricts some blood flow which will actually make him last longer and stay harder than ever. Then turn the cock ring on and let it provide huge stimulating vibrations throughout his shaft. He will enjoy this before he even penetrates you. Once the cock ring is rockin’, have him penetrate you. While he is thrusting away, the cock ring will be vibing on your clit every time he thrusts in. This gives un-intrusive clitoral stimulation and allows you to climax much easier while still having penetrative sex!
13.) Edge play
Tease a little bit, tease some more, and then go to town! It’s the perfect recipe for an unforgettable night in the bedroom. This sex tip is all about taking your partner to the edge (just before they orgasm) and then stopping. It seems so mean doesn’t it?! But it works for receiving the ultimate orgasm. Take them to the edge, let them know what your planning to do so they can give you a signal they are about to orgasm. When they give you the signal, stop stimulation immediately. Let them calm down a little and then start stimulating again. It’s a huge tease, a huge turn on, and leads to huge explosive orgasms!
Don’t let them know when you plan to actually continue stimulation to the point of orgasm. Keep it a fun and unexpected pleasurable surprise. Take them to the edge 2 or 3 times before letting them cum for starters.
14.) Dirty talk
“I can’t wait to kiss every square inch of you…” Dirty talk is hot and great at building the anticipation. Yes, it all seems to go back to sex tip numero uno! Dirty talk can happen in the bedroom or long before you even get there. Through a sexy phone call, sexting, or even in person the morning of the special evening. Feel your partner out, as not everyone loves dirty talk in the bedroom. Throw a couple “one liners” there way and see if they play along or ignore it. Ask them after the sex if they enjoy the dirty talk or prefer silence.
For a couple starter dirty talk examples check out this blog.
15.) Sex toys
Want to become legendary in the bedroom. This sex tip is a must for any couple looking to take their sex life to the next love! There are plenty of couple’s sex toys that are designed for specific use during penetrative sex with a partner. These sex toys will give both of you a huge boost in pleasure while keeping you closer than ever. Feel connected with your partner like normal penetrative sex while a small discreet sex toy provides you both the pleasure needed to have more explosive orgasms.
I want to be clear on a very common misconception. It doesn’t have to be a “couples sex toy” in order to use it in the bedroom with your partner. For example, if your female partner loves a very simple vibrator… Great! You can take this vibrator out during foreplay and start using it on her. Nothing sexier than letting your partner simulate you with your favorite sex toy. Show them and guide them with your hand how you use it. They will get extremely turned on watching the vibrator penetrate you. Almost a sense of jealousy that it isn’t them penetrating you… Although in the back of their mind they know that’s coming next! ????
So far, these unforgettable sex tips have been all about taking your time. Long drawn out sex is the most rememberable. However, the quickie has it’s time and place. For a complete guide on quickies click here. If your looking to get your heart racing and ravage your partner when you only have limited time. Quickies can be a great change of pace and an exciting way to get it in.
Maybe you’re in a semi public place or have somewhere to be in 10 minutes and want to make it happen! A few sex tips for when you have a quickie: Wear very accessible clothing or clothing that can be taken off quick. Bring the lube, no time to get fully turned on and wet. Bring a sex toy to make the stimulation more intense. An orgasm is not required!
Most think you have to orgasm fast during a quickie. But quickies can be short sexual experiences that bring pleasure and then you move on. An orgasm is not necessary. Perhaps its just a tease and something you plan to finish later when you have unlimited time at night?!
17.) Public vs. Private
Making it public or private is up to you. A lot of people find the thrill and risk of being caught a sexual turn on. I must warn you, public sex is against the law. So partake in it at your own risk. If you want to give it a go, I suggest semi-public places like the park, restaurant bathrooms, or the back of the movie theater.
A private setting is where you should bring out your inner freakiness. Public should be quick and penetrative sex is not necessary. A hand-job, blow job, oral sex, or fingering is much more discreet and less likely to draw attention.
18.) Strip Tease
Want to make it a night to remember? Take this sex tip to the bedroom for the ultimate show. Strip teasing is a sexy form of foreplay everyone should give a go. You don’t have to be a crazy acrobatic dancer with a pole. Matter of fact you don’t need to do any dancing at all actually. Just peel off each piece of clothing while he watches and waits. Don’t let him touch, as a sexy form of restraint. Make him watch you slowly take the clothes off and touch yourself sensually as you do so.
If you want to take the strip tease to new heights, sit him in a chair and tie his hands around his back. Rub yourself in his lap and give him the show of his life. Strip his pants off and tease his genitals until he just can’t take it anymore!
A recent American survey showed 82% of couples have partaken in some form of light bondage. Just because others enjoy it doesn’t mean you will. But I suggest you give everything a go at least once. Bondage is one of those sex tips you should just test the waters with. You don’t need to handcuff every member of your partners body and whip them to start. Although you might end up enjoying that, start slow. Light bondage consist of a blindfold, handcuffs or ropes, and a teasing device if you so desire.
It’s a great way to build the anticipation and since the movie “50 shades of grey” its now something every couple seems to dabble in. Communicate with you partner ahead of time and see how far they are willing to take it. But a little tie and blindfold seems to be a great starting point and really helps build the anticipation!
20.) Water sex
Want a way to completely change up your sex life? Try some water sex! Although, I cant say it’s really “doctor approved” it can be fun as hell! It does increase risk of yeast infection as there can be different bacteria in the water. If you engage in penetrative sex in the water, make sure to pee after as it reduces the risk of infection. Otherwise, stick to clitoral stimulation and hand-jobs. Both are a fun way to “mess around” while in the pool, hot tube, shower, or bath tub! Don’t forget your waterproof sex toy to send some vibes through the water and waves of pleasure through her body!
Check Out This Complete Guide On Water Sex: Guaranteed To Get You Both Wet!
21.) Use Sex toys On Each Other!
It’s the spice of life people! No matter how good you are with your penis, hands, or vagina… A sex toy can always be a great addition. There are so many different types of sex toys out there. I suggest checking out this blog to get a great overview and direction of where to start or what’s new to the market:
Try warming your partner up with a sex toy during foreplay. This sex tip will get them ready for you, and if timed properly you will be able to finish him or her off at the same time you climax. Nothing is more magical than orgasming together, however it is a hard art to perfect. So, if you climax before him or her, you can always finish them off with a sex toy too! Make sure you both are satisfied. It’s time to become unforgettable in the bedroom!
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