By: Jessica & Lee Founders of Diskret_Adult_Life
As a sex toy expert, enthusiast, and writer I get a lot of questions from new comers on both; how to use sex toys, and what are the best sex toys for beginners? While understanding the right way to use every kind of sex toy requires an entirely different dedicated blog, I will briefly touch on the general process for achieving the most pleasure from any sex toy. From there I will go over the best sex toys for beginners based on the category of toy you’re looking for.
If there is one thing you take away from this post, please understand this… Learning and understanding your body takes time. Everyone is unique, what your body craves and finds pleasurable might be different than your friends or other men & women your age. To make things more challenging, as your body gets older it’s constantly changing what it desires. A vibrator that got you off when your 18 might not work the same wonders when you’re 30. So how the hell do I learn all this about sex toys and my own body? How do I get the most from my sex toy? Don’t worry, I will help break it all down for you in this post. But remember these key factors to start:
- Learning & understanding your body takes time (I’m talking years…)
- It’s an extremely fun and pleasurable journey to becoming experienced in sex toys
- Trial and error with lots of masturbation is the best way to learn
- After using a couple main types of stimulating toys, you’ll be far ahead of the general public.
- Finding a sex toy is like picking out a car… It needs to meet your specific requirements for form, fit, and function
Here is how I determine the best sex toys for beginners in 2019:
- I read lots of men & women reviews around first-time sex toy experiences
- How user friendly the sex toys for beginners are.
- The price of the sex toys for beginners.
- The type of material the sex toys for beginners are made from
- Style, design, and function of the sex toy
- Manufacturing details and background on the beginner sex toy
- General publics reviews on the beginner sex toys
- How loud the sex toy is during use
- The durability of the toy (warranty)
How To Use Sex Toys for Beginners:
Relax Your Mind
The most important thing you need to remember before using your toy is R.E.L.A.X. It might be exciting and nerve racking at the same time, but take a few deep breaths and relax… Its extremely hard to climax or receive any pleasure at all if your mind is cluttered. If you have kids hire a babysitter to take them to the park or movies, lock the door, and pull the blinds. You need to feel private and secure. Its hard to rub one out with your kids screaming on the other side of the door or knowing your roommate might pop in at any time!
Relax Your Body
Sounds silly and “cheesy” but its just as important to relax your body as it is your mind. So, lite some good smelling candles, turn the lights down, soak in the tub, get the fireplace lite, or have a glass of wine. Only you know what helps you relax the most. So, take the time to relax your mind and body, this will help you accept the toy and pleasure that awaits you!
Take Your Time
Just like rushed sex is disappointing (unless its planned that way), rushed masturbation sessions can be disappointing. The “quickie” has its time and place but sex toys for beginners and “quickie” do not belong in the same sentence. As a beginner you need to take your time, slow things down, and truly learn the methods that get you off! If you have to block off an entire afternoon, then do so! The longer masturbation sessions with lots of foreplay, the better! Building the anticipation takes time and patience.
Foreplay / Arousal
Building the anticipation is key! Start with a romantic movie, some porn, caress your body, and tease yourself. Don’t start masturbating until you just can’t handle it another minute! It can take some time and should be the focus of your masturbation session. Even more so than the actual use of the sex toy! Once you are extremely turned on, grab the sex toys and slowly start to work it in and around your genitals. This will allow you to accept the toy with ease and receiving the pleasure will be second nature.
Lots of Lube… Then Some More!
Please use lube, lots of lube! The more lube the better. Especially when using anal sex toys. Anal sex toys can cause discomfort, pain, and even injury if not properly lubed first! As a beginner if you only take a couple things away from this blog… Take this: Use lube and go slow! Slight discomfort at first is okay and natural but it should never feel painful. If you feel heavy discomfort or pain, stop immediately. I suggest starting with some lube on your hand and working it around your genitals, this helps get you turned on and lubed up at the same time.
Now that you are completely relaxed, extremely turned on, and have your genitals lubed up, its time to grab the sex toy! Even though sex toys for beginners are typically on the smaller side, you should still lube the tip before penetration (especially with anal play). Work the toy around and apply pulsating pressure, before slowly penetrating. Turn the vibe power on for more euphoric wave of pleasure. Then masturbate to climax!
Try different techniques; for women stimulate your clitoris, your g-spot, your anus… try shallow penetration and deep penetration. For men; try stimulating your shaft, the tip of your penis, your anus… try different vibrations. This is all part of the learning experience! After doing this a couple times with a couple different sex toys, you will know exactly what your body craves. Then you will be able to tell if a toy is going to do you wonders just by looking at it!
Sex Toys for Beginners Features:
Rechargeable Vs. Battery
If you want a sex toy that vibes, thrusts, pulsates, sucks, or twirls & whirls; It’s going to need a power source. The main types of power sources are rechargeable lithium ion batteries or your conventional replacement batteries. I highly recommend the rechargeable batteries. They are usually classified as USB rechargeable sex toys. The problem with replacement batteries is they are not waterproof, and they corrode over time. Plus, its highly annoying when they die during use and you have to start digging around your house for some new batteries. While a single charge on rechargeable sex toys can last 90+ days! So not only are they more convent, usually waterproof, and last longer they are built with much higher manufacturing standards.
Who doesn’t love water sex?! It doesn’t matter if you’re in a bath tub, shower, hot tub, or the swimming pool; the water adds a fun and kinky twist to any sexual experience. This feature is a hit or miss, either you plan to use your sex toy around water, or you don’t. When considering sex toys for beginners I recommend you at least try it in a watery environment. This is all part of that “learning & developmental stage”. Either you will love it at know you want all your future sex toys to be waterproof or maybe you will decide to pass. The waterproof feature only adds slightly to the overall cost. Remember the cleaning process afterwards too, the waterproof features adds a huge convenience factor.
Might be getting a little too complex when talking sex toys for beginners here. But some sex toys do offer the ability to connect to your phone via Bluetooth or internet. The ones that use the internet can be controlled from half way around the world (great for long distance relationships). The Bluetooth ones are good for up to 30 ft. From the app you can control the vibrators intensity and patterns. You can customize settings and even create your own vibration patterns. Then change the modes without having to touch the sex toy making it a unique hands-free experience.
Some sex toys come with a remote control this allows you to flip through settings without having to touch the toy. This comes in handy especially with anal toys. Nobody wants to reach back and fumble around with a butt plug that is all lubed up and in an awkward position. Instead just one click of the remote and you’re on your way to new waves of pleasure!
Single vs. Dual Motors
One thing every new beginner to sex toys needs to understand is how much vibration they desire. USB rechargeable toys usually have more vibe power than replacement batteries. But beyond that, some USB rechargeable toys have two or three motors verse a single motor. This allows you to have a wider range of vibration power from “is this thing on?” all the way to “blow your f***ing socks off”! Another thing to consider is if it has multiple motors, are they independent of each other? If independent, you can control one differently than the other adding another variation of pleasure.
This is the most important feature of sex toys for beginners. You have to be able to understand the controls, use the features, and keep things simple! You don’t need a crazy contraption that is difficult to use. Some sex toys are made for more experienced users and if you start with these you may end up frustrated and disappointed.
Travel locks are pretty self-explanatory. Usually you have to press and hold 2 or 3 buttons to lock it and unlock it. That prevents your suit case from vibrating like a ticking time bomb (saving you a very embarrassing TSA search)! It’s happened to me… now I only travel with vibrators that have this feature. So, if you plan on traveling with it, make sure it has this feature or take some extra steps when packing it to prevent it from turning on.
Vibration Modes & Patterns
Some extreme vibrators have over 72 different vibration modes and patterns, while the basic ones have 2 or 3. It’s nice to change the vibration intensity since every person is different (some are powerqueens others like slight tickling sensations). I suggest starting with a sex toy that has a wide range of patterns and vibes. This allows you, as a beginner, to find and test what kind of power levels satisfy you the most. Also, changing the patterns help keep you from going numb to the vibration down there. If you stay at a single vibe speed for too long, it will cause you to get a “numbness feeling” and that’s the exact opposite of what anyone wants to experience!
We will talk more in detail about sex toy materials. But just remember that sex toys for beginners might be on the cheaper side. This allows you to test these toys at a low risk and low investment. However, cheaper sex toys tend to be made of lower grade materials. You need to make sure the material is 100% body-safe, phthalate-free, latex-free, and non-porous. How do you know? I do hours of research before offering it on Diskret, so unless you want to do the research yourself you have to go with a trusted retailer or a trusted manufacturing company. Sex toys for beginners made overseas are typically high risk.
Sex Toys for Beginners Material:
All sex toys come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and materials. The single most important thing is that the material is SAFE! Unfortunately, the market is littered with low-grade sex toys that most beginners flock to because they don’t want to invest in something if they might not like it. We get that… so I have done countless hours of research, so you don’t have to. Here is a list of the different types of materials the sex toys can be made of and what to look out for with each kind. Want to know your sex toy is safe? You need to purchase from a trusted retailer and manufacturer.
Glass is typically higher quality than silicone. Its non-porous which makes it super easy to clean and waterproof. Some you can even just throw in your dishwasher! The only thing you really need to look out for is; if the glass is shatterproof or not. You don’t want to drop it and smash glass everywhere. But premium glass is so clear its nearly completely see-through and usually they come in a wide variety of beautiful colors that are all shatterproof. Glass gives a unique sensation during entry (low-friction, low drag) and looks amazing!
100% Stainless Steel:
Stainless steel is the least porous out of any beginner sex toy material. That means its easy to clean, 100% waterproof, and it retains zero smell. I prefer these for the anal toys. Steel has a zero friction upon entry, all you need is a dab of lube. Just make sure the sex toy is 100% stainless steel, it can become dangerous if mixed with other types of metal.
Silicone is the most common type of material when it comes to sex toys. Its flexible and soft which makes it great for beginner sex toys. The only issue is it can easily be mixed with low-grade silicone making it less expensive to manufacture but dangerous to use. Silicone sex toys should not be used with oil-based lubes as it can break away the top surface of the silicone. Low grade silicone can cause rashes, discomfort, and illness. So, stick with manufactures that are reputable and trusted retailers. We have done our homework on each sex toy to insure its 100% body safe and not made with any latex or phthalates.
Some crystal and stone dildos do exist. They are fairly rare and need to be hand polished to a perfectly smooth finish to be safe. Please review and examine each product before use. They do look and feel incredible though!
Same as the crystal wands please review any wood dildos or anal toys in great detail before inserting. Make sure it doesn’t have any jagged edges on it. Most are safe to use from a good retailer, but doesn’t hurt to check it over yourself, after all its your body its going into!
Types of Sex Toys for Beginners
Here is a broad list of the different types of sex toys out there. All sex toys for beginners are designed for a specific form of pleasure. Furthermore, each type can be used in multiple different ways to bring different forms of simulation. I’ll help break this down in a simple, easy to understand way. From here you can pick to test different forms of stimulation.
Pretty much the first thing that pops into everyone’s head when they hear the phase “sex toys for beginners”. Even though vibrators rule the sex toy world in terms of quantity, they are just a small piece in what makes up all the different styles and designs of sex toys out there. While vibrators to me, means any sex toy that vibrates; to most people they just think of the vaginal penetrating vibrators.
Vibrators come in all shapes, sizes, designs, and material but the general rule of thumb “it vibrates and is used for vaginal penetration”. They can be used for solo masturbation, or for couples looking to spice up their sex life. I am very surprised at how many couples have yet to bring a standard vibrator to the bedroom for him to use on her, for him to watch her use, or for him to finish her off with. These are all amazing ways to incorporate the standard vibrator into your sex life!
Butt plugs are a smaller anal sex toy that usually have a large flared base, a tapered neck, and bulbous end. They are designed to slide into the anal cavity while your anus clenches the tapered neck holding it in place. The flared base prevents the butt plugs from going in to far. These are great sex toys for beginners looking to explore anal or anyone looking to ease their way into anal sex with a partner.
Butt plugs are designed to slide in and stay in. While in, you can stimulate your front side, engage in oral sex, or have penetrative sex. The butt plug will provide long stimulating pleasure and make your orgasms both, last longer and more intense.
Anal beads are another anal sex toy used in a different manor then butt plugs. They are also great sex toys for beginners because they start with a small diameter ball attached to 4-6 other balls that gradually get larger in size. This way you can use just the first bead or second until you can slowly work your way up to the larger beads! Take things slow and stretch your anus over time to prepare yourself for anal sex or large anal toys. You are free to as large a size as you desire, as long as you don’t feel any pain.
I really prefer to use anal beads by pushing and pulling them in slowly throughout an entire masturbation session or penetrative sex with a partner. I start with slowly inserting half of them and then whenever I am looking for a small boost in pleasure, I slowly push another in or pull one out. The best thing I’ve experienced is just before climax, pulling them all out to set me over the top! This creates a longer lasting orgasm that will have your eyes rolling from the intensity!
Cock Rings are great sex toys for beginners. They are extremely easy to use and bring a unique twist to the bedroom. Cock rings are a small flexible ring that slides over the tip of the male shaft and down to the base of his shaft. It vibrates and whenever he thrusts into his (female) partner it provides amazing clitoral stimulation for her. Plus, it makes him hard and last longer due to the constriction around his shaft. So, not only are they extremely easy and a great introductory sex toy to the bedroom, they provide intense pleasure to both of you during penetrative sex!
Dildos are a great way to start your sex toy adventure. They are extremely easy to use, they have no controls, no vibration, and zero complexity. Typically, just a cylindrical shaped shaft that is used for vaginal penetration or in some cases anal penetration. If it doesn’t specifically say its anal safe please only use it for vaginal penetration!
These are another great beginner sex toy for women to use during solo masturbation or have a partner use it on you! Its great to have a partner warm you up with a dildo before engaging in actual penetrative sex.
Made famous from the “50 Shades of Grey” movie, I don’t think most women had a clue what Ben-Wa-Balls were about 10 years ago, and the pleasure they were missing out on… But in case you haven’t seen the movie, Ben-Wa-Balls are small sphere balls that women can insert vaginally. They squeeze their PC muscles to hold them in while they walk around or go about daily household activities. These balls provide slight waves of pleasure as you move your hips and thighs. Some are metal and “clink” together and others have small bearings inside to give different sensations.
I feel Ben-Wa-Balls get a bad reputation and reviews because most women purchase them thinking they are going to get these explosive orgasms after 5 mins of use. They are not the “Womanizer” or a quality vibrator. These are designed to strengthen your PC muscles making you feel “tighter” during sex and yes, they can provide orgasms, but it takes time and experience to develop that ability.
Best Beginner Sex Toys for Women:
Even if you are new to sex toys, chances are you’ve explored your body with your hand or a partner. A large survey has shown 46% of women require some type of clitoral stimulation to climax. Considering your clit is made specifically to give you pleasure (packed full of nerve endings) its no wonder that women love stimulating it so much!
Here are the top clitoral sex toys for beginners:
The Womanizer is a very unique sex toy that uses pulse air technology. A fancy way of saying it provides suction around the tip. So, you slide the tip of the Womanizer over your clit and let it provide a pulsing suction action! Its so popular, it’s called the “60 second orgasm toy”. I dare you to use it and not climax in under a minute… Its that good! The reviews are off the charts, and they have a few different versions, the Deluxe or the womanizer 2 go ( a smaller discreet version).
The EVA ll is a brand new unique hands-free vibrator from Dame Products. It’s 100% body safe and uses two flexible wings that sit between the female labia and provides hands free vibration directly to the clitoris. This is a great sex toy for beginners because you can experiment wearing it while engaging in penetrative sex or masturbating vaginal penetration at the same time!
When looking for deep penetrating sex toys for beginners the first thing that comes to mind is the Gigi 2. It’s not too extreme (4” insertable length) and has a flat shaped head for g-spot stimulation or clitoral stimulation. This makes it extremely versatile and great for anyone testing out different forms of stimulation. The longer straight shaft is also great for testing out deeper penetration.
The Petite Sensation Beads are a great beginner anal sex toy because it’s a less expensive toy that allows you to test anal stimulation. If you’re not sure about anal sex toys, these graduating beads vibrate using a small bullet and are made of body-safe silicone. The large flared base makes it a safe design for anal and the size of the beads are great for any beginner!
These Bendy Beads are perfect for any beginner anal sex toy enthusiast! They are slim, flexible, and extremely soft. Making them low friction during entry with just a dab of lube. Fun Factory makes extremely high-quality sex toys for beginners and uses only the best silicone. Test out these anal beads to make sure you love the sensation before paying for the added vibration.
The G-Kii is the perfect G-Spot vibrator for any beginner. Its very easy to use and provides immense G-spot stimulation. I prefer to hit the button and bend it to the perfect angle for myself before really going to town. The G-Spot helps hit all the right spots and comes with a load of modern-day features; including 7 vibration patterns and 5 vibration levels!
The Enigma is a very powerful G-spot vibrator. Very user-friendly; this waterproof vibrator will satisfy your g-spots needs. Not only is it curved for g-spot stimulation, but it has a nub for clitoral stimulation at the same time! This really lands it in the “blended stimulation” category but the main goal of this powerful beginner’s vibrator is to use the large ergonomic handle for your g-spot desires. It has 10 vibration and pulsation levels along with a USB recharging feature.
The Iconic Rabbit 2.0 is the perfect beginner’s vibrator. Nothing too crazy here, just your standard “classic rabbit” design but with all the modern-day features. It’s waterproof, quiet, has digital controls, and USB charging. The best part about the Iconic Rabbit is it has two ears that stimulate the clitoris while you penetrate the shaft. This leads to mind-blowing blended orgasms, which women rank the best way to get off!
The Je Joue Fifi vibrator is great for beginners because the larger ear numbs allow you to hit the clitoris even if you’re not experienced with holding and using a vibrator. This is what I call “broad stimulation” because it’s just so easy to find “the spot” and the slightly curved shaft is perfect for g-spot orgasms! Not to mention this vibrator comes with all the great features you could ask for; with 5 speeds and 9 patterns.
Best Beginner Sex Toys for Men:
The Pivot cock ring is the best sex toy for beginners. Period. It is the first sex toy I recommend to both men and women when I get asked “what should I start with?”. The Pivot is the easiest sex toy to use, most pleasurable, and most versatile. Guys, just slide it onto the base of your shaft and masturbate, or have penetrative sex with a partner. The vibration stimulates both you and your partner, plus the constriction will make you last longer and stay harder for longer. Packed with features this is the most pleasurable 100 bucks you’ve ever spent!
A very unique cock ring that is a quality vibrator for guys! A guybrator if you will…. It uses two flexible wings that wrap your shaft and have grooves for a unique sensation that holds lube. Slide the manta up and down your shaft with different vibrating modes to explosive orgasmic pleasure! Don’t forget its slim enough to pack and has a travel lock for your next trip. It’s nicknamed the “BJ tool” because it simulates a deep throating blowjob, although its great to use with a partner in bed for her to warm you up with too!
The PFun Plug is the perfect P-spot plug for any guy. It is slightly curved with a bulbous end for stimulating the male prostate. The prostate gland is a “walnut” sized gland that can be stimulated through the male anus. A large survey showed guys who orgasmed from prostate stimulation thought the climax was 33% stronger than the standard penis stimulating orgasm. This plug is 100% stainless steel which makes it perfect for frictionless entry and doesn’t retain any smell. Plus, the large oval handle makes it comfortable and safe for anal play!
These vibrating anal beads by Femme Fun are perfect for any male looking to test out anal play. These are great sex toys for beginners due to the small tip beads that let you work into larger beads at your own pace. Take your time working your way up to the final large bead which will provide mind blowing orgasmic anal pleasure. Just lube them up and slide them in, then pull and push as you desire. Remember you can stimulate your front side while they are in too!
Beginner butt plugs are a tricky thing to find. But the bootie ring is what I hear beginner men rant and rave about the most. This is a male butt plug that stimulates the p-spot but also has a cock ring attached on the front. Slide the cock ring on and then slide the butt plug in. Great to wear during masturbation or penetrative sex with a partner. The cock ring will tug on the butt plug with each and every thrust. This will stimulate your p-spot as you thrust into your partner, making it a genius yet simple design!
The Coconu Water-Based Lube is great for any beginner. It works well with any sex toy and is great for sensitive skin. Use it for all your vibrator or anal play sex toy needs. I noticed it has a silky, sensuous feel that will moisturize sensitive areas while giving a boost to your intimate moments. The PH balance will preserve vaginal environments and protect against irritation too!
Remember to spread the love! Share this blog with #diskretadultlife on any major social media and we will pick a winner each month for a free high quality sex toy!