By: Lee & Jessica Owners of DiskretAdultLife, February 25th, 2019
Why Use Sex Toys / How To Use Sex Toys / Beginner Sex Toys / Mens Sex Toys / Sex Toys For Women / Couples Sex Toys / BDSM Sex Toys / Gay Sex Toys / Lesbian Sex Toys / Anal Sex Toys / Cheap Sex Toys / Best Sex Toys
Using sex toys has an infinite amount of benefits with nearly no risk involved. It’s no wonder why over the last decade they have exploded into mainstream society. As talking about sex becomes more socially acceptable; the discussion of sex toys has inherently risen with it.
Just how “mainstream” are we talking? The Queen of England not only endorsed a sex toy commercial (the first of its kind to air), but also a profile of a vibrator company graces the Style Section of the New York Times! This is quite the leap considering when sex toys were first introduced directly to consumers in the U.S. at the turn of the 20th century, they were almost never marketed for what they actually were. Instead, they were sold as pseudo-medical implements. Such as vibrating massaging tools to increase blood flow.
Not sure why it took 100 years for people to understand the benefits and pleasure that come with sex toys. However, now that it’s deemed “okay” by society and media to talk sex toys… Let’s do just that!
Why Use A Sex Toy:
It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or women, using a sex toy brings a world of benefits with nearly zero down sides. Here are the top reasons to start using a sex toy if you haven’t already:
Using a sex toy provides new and exciting sensations:
To put it simply; one of the main benefits of using a sex toy over a real vagina or penis is because its different! Sex toys come in a world of different shapes, sizes, colors, materials, and above all pleasure sensations! So, if you’re looking for new and exciting ways to increase your pleasure; whether it be solo or with a partner, you’ve come to the right place.
Using a sex toy is healthy:
Believe it or not, using sex toys and masturbating is physically healthy for you! Finally, something that feels good and is good for you too! According to Dr. Martin Bastuba (world renowned leader in all things sexual) masturbation that is regulated can bring the following health benefits:
- release sexual tension
- reduce stress
- help you sleep better
- improve your self-esteem and body image
- help treat sexual problems
- relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
- strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas
So, get busy… getting busy! The only time Dr. Bastuba said that masturbation becomes “to much” is if it gets in the way of your job, responsibilities, or social life.
Sex Toys help you explore, learn, and develop your body:
Not a single professional athlete just walked out onto the field one day and were so amazing they “magically” made a career out of it from then on. Every athlete has put thousands of hours in “behind the scenes” learning the sport, developing their minds and bodies, and of course practicing their technique.
I’m not saying you want to become a professional in the bedroom. But if you want to experience more pleasure with a partner or during solo masturbation sessions it takes practice! You need to learn what your body craves, what your true desires are. Mastering your own body can take a serious amount of time!
A lot of children will turn away foods that they “think” will be gross; but once forced to try it will learn their body actually really enjoys the taste. The same applies to adult bodies and pleasure sensations. “Don’t knock it until you try it!” To truly explore your body, you need to try various types of sex toys multiple times. Try anal play, g-spot toys, clitoral toys, masturbation sleeves, and couple toys. Never stop exploring and never stop reaching new heights of orgasmic pleasure!
The Best Way To Use Sex Toys:
It’s a frequent question we hear: “what’s the best way to use my sex toy”? Now, the question is extremely broad… You wouldn’t use anal beads the same way you would use a clitoral vibrator. With all the different kinds of pleasure sensations and sex toys available; there is no single “best way” to use them all. I know… not the answer you were looking for.
However, we have noticed a major key factor that correlates single handedly with the level of pleasure you receive during masturbation. So, if you want to know how to use a sex toy: The anticipation and foreplay that lead up to the actual use of the sex toy is just as important; if not more important than the act itself! So, what I am trying to say is… It really doesn’t matter if you plan to use a clitoral vibrator or anal beads, the process leading up to using it; is what is most important!
If you want to know the best way to use sex toys, follow these golden rules:
Set aside plenty of time:
It’s hard to climax when you are in a rush. Set a side plenty of free time so you don’t need to focus on “making it happen” which actually has an adverse effect on you orgasming.
You need to not only relax your body but your mind as well. If you want to orgasm or receive any pleasure at all… you need to relax! I don’t care what it takes; a warm bath, sip wine in front of the fireplace, a romantic movie with your partner, candles, soft music… You get the idea. It might sound “cheesy” to light candles and put soft music on, but if it helps relax you, do it! Mind-blowing full body orgasms that are achieved when you are relaxed are not so “cheesy” in my book.
Bring the lube:
Once you have plenty of time, and fully relaxed, its time to lube up. It doesn’t matter if you’re with a partner or using a sex toy. Lube always makes the experience feel better. Remember, with any anal sex toys or anal play in general, lube is a must! Your anus does not provide a “natural” lube like the vagina can. Shoving sex toys, fingers, or penises in your bum without lube can lead to discomfort, pain, or even injury.
If you have ever heard using lube with sex toys is dangerous, please understand the facts first. Yes, using some types of lubes on specific sex toys can be dangerous. It can get confusing and complicated so I will break it down in a very simple major for you to follow:
You really have two main types of lube, water-based and silicone-based lubes. Water-based lubes are safe in all scenarios. They clean off sheets, clothing, and sex toys very easily. The only downfall is they don’t last as long, so you might need to re-apply depending how long your sexual session is. Also, they wash away easy during water sex (in the tub or shower). Silicone-based lube is the opposite. It holds up well during water sex, but its hard to wash of clothing and sex toys. Also, silicone-based lubes can over time break down silicone-based sex toys. This is why it’s not considered safe to use this specific type of lube with specific sex toy materials.
Sex Toys For Beginners:
With all the different types of sex toys out there one can become overwhelmed in a heartbeat. You have tons of different options from size, color, functions, forms of stimulation. It can be confusing and overwhelming when trying to pick out your first few beginner sex toys. I’ll be honest, I’ve been in the industry for years and still come across new toys and designs I have never seen before, on a weekly basis!
So, where does someone new even begin? It’s not an exact science, after all, masturbation is a learning experience. A pleasurable and fun learning experience! Here is what I suggest for your first sex toy. If you have masturbated in the past with your hand, you should have a basic understanding of what forms of stimulation you enjoy the most, even if you don’t realize it. Take some time to think about it.
For women, you might find yourself climaxing most during g-spot stimulation, or perhaps during clitoral stimulation. If you know you enjoy rubbing your clit most when using your hand during masturbation, I suggest starting with a clitoral sex toy to start. Understanding the basic forms of pleasure you enjoy now will help guide you down the path of picking out your first sex toy.
A lot of it will come from trial and error. Some sex toys might “rock your socks off” while others will just be mediocre. As you experiment with more and more you will understand just by looking at a sex toy if its right for you.
Mens Sex Toys:
The old joke is that 92% percent of men masturbate and the other 8% are lying. Now the real statistics show men masturbate… A lot! It’s safe to say 86% of men masturbate at least once a month. However, that number varies up and down depending on age. To go with that, 62% have said they used a sex toy in this past year (that includes using a sex toy on their partner).
In other words; it’s no question men are masturbating, and men are using sex toys. Below is an overview of the main types of sex toys guys are using:
These are the most common form of mens sex toys… and for good reason! These simplistic in design toys, bring a whole new sensation for guys. Made famous by the common “fleshlight” the design has been around for years. It’s typically a silicone sleeve that slides up and down the shaft of a male. Each sleeve has a unique textured internals to give the man a different sensation. On some masturbation sleeves you can even adjust the “suction” which allows for a more or less intense sensation and pleasure around your shaft.
Anal Sex Toys:
Now based on anatomy; there is zero difference between the male and female anus. Once you go beyond the anus, men have a prostate gland that surrounds the base of their urethra. This can be stimulated in many different forms to bring full body prostate orgasms! But each male anal sex toy has its own unique design and intended use. Here is a list of the various different types of anal mens sex toys:
- Prostate Sex Toys
- Anal Vibrators
- Butt Plugs
- Anal Beads
- Anal Dildos
Cock rings are usually silicone flexible rings that slide down around the base of the man’s shaft. Alone, they provide constriction that helps keep a man “harder” and last longer in the bedroom. Some cock rings provide vibration, this adds another variable of pleasure during solo masturbation or provides a female partner clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
Cock rings are incredibly popular because they provide both men and women intense pleasure at the same time. Plus, the simplistic design is easy to throw on or take off at a moments notice.
Not all cock rings are a single ring that goes around the base of the shaft. Some cock rings have two loops (one for the penis and one for the scrotum). Other cock rings have a butt plug attached on one end. The butt plug then works in unison with each thrust or stroke of the penis. This ties them into a man’s multi-stimulator dream toy!
Sex Toys For Women:
Enough about the guys already… Lets dive into the world of sex toys for women! The list for all the types of sex toys for women is long and complex. Each type of sex toy has its own unique design and functionality. But diversity is also why women’s toys have become so popular! They have the ability to give her a completely unique sensation with each and every type of toy used! The pleasure possibilities are truly endless.
Not only do they have the ability to fill the void of real sex, they improve sexual performance, boost self-confidence, and teach you things about your body you never thought possible. Female ejaculation (squirting), full body-orgasms, and multiple orgasms in a single session are all very real things. It takes a true understanding of your body for some women to reach these levels of pleasure; but they are not as far from reach as you might think!
Here is a brief list of the most common sex toys for women used today:
- G-Spot Vibrators
- Anal Beads
- Butt Plugs
- Clitoral Stimulators
Couples Sex Toys:
Couples sex toys are designed to be used together (for men and women). The keyword in that sentence is “designed”. Please understand that just about any and every sex toy can be used together. For example a small pink vibrator is not just a solo masturbation toy for women. A man can pick that up and use it on her to warm her up; or finish her off. It is just a tool that brings pleasure no matter whose hand it’s in or body it’s stimulating.
I can’t stress the importance of not following the “labels” applied to sex toys. These are just to help give a guideline and suggested use. If your partner is crazy about a specific sex toy, just use that one on them! No reason to re-invent the wheel with a couples sex toy to bring them pleasure. However, using a sex toy on your partner might turn you on and a great foreplay idea; It is not bringing you direct stimulation…
The main difference with couples sex toys is they are designed to bring pleasure and stimulation when being used simultaneously to both individuals. Here is a brief list of the most common couples sex toys being used today:
BDSM Sex Toys:
“BDSM” stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism, the core pillars of kinky fun. There is an entire BDSM community and following who practice everything from very light bondage to hardcore sex acts. But the in the end, its really just another form of giving and receiving pleasure.
A lot of sex toy manufactures have noted everyone seems to have a little kink in them and started tailoring to that. After the famous “50 Shades of Gray” movie came out; a survey showed over 80% of American couples tired some form of light bondage. Even your doctors, nurses, lawyers, and soccer moms like to go home, get tied up and spanked every now and then!
Here are the main forms of kink and BDSM sex toys being used everyday:
Gay Sex Toys:
Not as commonly labeled, there are gay sex toys specifically designed for male on male stimulation. I think the label gets lost because most anal sex toys or cock rings can be used throughout the gay community. The only difference is the sex toy might be doubled sided for both men to use simultaneously.
Keep in mind you should never share an anal sex toy with your partner unless it has dual ends, or you put different condom over it for you and him. The anal cavity has bacteria that is specific to your own body. To prevent spreading harmful bacteria you should never share a sex toy without fully cleaning it first.
Some anal sex toys built for prostate stimulation might have a handle for a partner to use. But for the most part any anal play sex toy or cock ring can be used. The gay community has a huge selection of pleasurable toys to choose from! Here are some of the most specific and common gay sex toys used:
- Cock Ring W/ Butt Plug Attachment
- Prostate Stimulator W/ Handle
- Cock Rings
- Prostate Butt Plugs
- Prostate Anal Beads
- Double Sided Dildos
Lesbian Sex Toys:
There are lesbian sex toys too! These sex toys are designed specifically to provide two women with simultaneous pleasure. Whether it be through vaginal penetration, clitoral stimulation, or a combination of both! These sex toys provide mind blowing stimulation and offer an otherwise valuable missing pleasure limb… the penis!
Here are the most common types of lesbian sex toys used today:
- Shared Vibrator
- Strap Ons
- Double Dildos
- Anal Beads
- Finger Stimulators
The main thing to consider when looking at lesbian sex toys are the toys functionality, features, material, and reliability. A lot of low-quality lesbian sex toys are mass produced each year and some might not even be made with body safe materials! It’s important to know and trust the retailer or do the research yourself.
Anal Sex Toys:
Man or woman, anyone and everyone can enjoy anal sex toys! There are various reasons to enjoy anal play. One of the most common is using an anal sex toy while you also stimulate your front side. These multiple forms of stimulation going on at the same time can lead to blended orgasms. Blended orgasms are rated the most intense form of an orgasm by women. Not to mention, a prostate orgasm by men is said to be 33% more intense than a normal orgasm by stimulating the penis.
Okay… we get it, anal play can be extremely pleasurable. But what should I use, and how should I use it? If you’re a beginner I suggest starting with a small butt plug (.75”-1.0” max diameter) or anal beads. The anal beads will slowly let you ease into larger diameter toys.
These two main types of anal toys are used slightly differently:
Butt plugs are designed to slide in and stay in. They can be in for hours if you so choose. They are great for being used during sexual intercourse, solo masturbation sessions, or even a form of foreplay leading up to sex. Just remember for it to be considered safe it needs a large flared base (about .25% larger than the largest insertable diameter). This will keep it from sliding in to far, making it safe to use for anal play.
Anal beads are designed to bring pleasure through insertion and removal. Sliding the graduating beads in and pulling them out stimulates two muscle rings in the anus. This brings waves of pleasure as each bead runs across and stretches these muscles. If timed correctly you can slide these out just at the point of climax. That will make your orgasm much more intense and last longer.
Here are the main types of anal sex toys used today:
Click Here For 21 Mind-Blowing Sex Toys for Anal!
Cheap Sex Toys:
Who doesn’t love a good deal? There is a massive divide in the adult industry with what I would consider roughly 85% of the adult products being made are on the low to mid-grade quality level. Yes, you can find them for anywhere between $2-$25 dollars. If you have done your research thoroughly and know exactly what the toy is made of; by all means, go for it!
I do want to warn users about the potentially harmful material they could be made from. A lot of cheap sex toys are made overseas and have jelly, phthalates, sil-a-gel, and cheap porous glass additives. In this industry you do tend to “get what you pay for”. But even paying $50.00 for a toy doesn’t insure its 100% body-safe. You really need to either dig up the manufacture information or choose a reputable retailer who does all the research for you.
Here are the main things to consider before purchasing a cheap sex toy:
- Is the design safe to use?
- Is the material 100% body-safe?
- Will the material react with your lube?
- Is the manufacturing company reputable?
- Is the retail company reputable?
- What are the cleaning instructions?
- Is the toy material porous?
- If it is glass, is it shatter proof and non-porous?
The Best Sex Toys:
Want to know what the best sex toy is? You’re going to hate my answer… it depends! Everyone has very unique body types and no single sex toy will satisfy every single person. Some do a great job at pleasing the general population; but no toy is the perfect match for everyone.
I highly suggest you learn, develop, and understand what delivers the most pleasure to yourself. You find this out through trial and error, and lots of masturbation! It’s a long process filled with fun and lots of orgasms! Once you know the ins and outs of your own body you will know exactly what sex toy is best for you!
Here are the main forms of stimulation to understand about your own body before finding the best sex toy for you:
- Vaginal penetration
- Penis stimulation
- Clitoral stimulation
- Anal stimulation
- Prostate play
- Vaginal & Clitoral stimulation
- Vaginal & Anal stimulation
- Clitoral & Anal stimulation
- Prostate & Penis stimulation
- Erogenous Zones (breasts,nipples,thighs,butt,ears,neck)
Once you know which forms of stimulation make you climax the longest or most frequent, you know exactly what sex toys will do the trick!
Remember to spread the love! Share this blog with #diskretadultlife on any major social media and we will pick a winner each month for a free high quality sex toy!