By Lee & Jessica, Owners of DiskretAdultLife, August 31st, 2018
“Talk dirty to me…” If you haven’t had a partner say this yet, chances are you will soon enough. Why? Because who doesn’t love dirty talk? It’s the ultimate turn on in the bedroom. Would you know exactly what to say if your partner wants you to talk dirty to them? This can be a challenging and daunting task. Nothing can kill the mood faster than saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
This guide on dirty talk will walk you through examples of what to say to your partner, and more importantly what not to say. Every couple is different and wants different things from each other, but if you haven’t tried a little dirty talk yet, your in for a treat. It may seem silly or awkward at first, but if done properly dirty talk can take your sexual experiences to a whole new level.
What is dirty talk?
The first thing you’re probably wondering is what exactly is dirty talk? Dirty talk can be expressed in many different forms. So, throughout this guide we will break it down into simpler terms for everyone. Dirty talk can feel like walking through a minefield for most beginners. That’s because dirty talk just like sex itself, is something that needs to be calibrated for each individual couple. Something you might consider to be sexy, might be offensive, funny, or insanely weird to your partner.
Dirty talk is used before, during, and after sex to enhance the overall sexual experience. Like a great sex toy, it can be a tool in your “go-to” sex box that really puts your partner over the top.
Dirty Talk for Beginners:
A good rule of thumb for beginners not used to dirty talk is tell your partner what you want to do to them, before you actually do it. Then tell them exactly what your doing to them, as your doing it. Then tell them what you like most about what your doing in any given moment. These can be a great go-to in any situation. A few examples of this might be:
- I’m going to tease you before sliding it in extra deep.
- I’m not sliding it in until your dripping wet and begging for it.
- Let me get out your favorite sex toy, then I want you to tell me how you want it.
- I love it when you tease me from on top.
- Feel my fingers? I’m going to make you cum so hard…
- I’m going to tie you up, and take control…
- How do you want me next?
- Thrust harder, thrust faster, and make me moan out loud.
- I’m so wet right now, you need to feel this.
- Don’t worry, I’m going to kiss your neck first, then slowly make way down to your shaft.
Say what you authentically desire in the moment, this won’t come across as cheap, thoughtless, or awkward. Dirty talk can be about a past experience you had with them as well. Start with something like “You remember when we did (blank) on the night of (blank)?” Make it personable and talk about the details to show them you really enjoyed everything about it. This will turn your partner on as well as yourself.
Give your partner real time feedback during sex or foreplay. Dirty talk can be a great way to communicate openly about what you like or dislike in the bedroom. Through experience and feedback is how you build your relationship to have the best sex of your life.
The Key to Dirty Talk:
The key to dirty talk is in the details. Let me repeat myself since it might be the most important part of dirty talk concept. You can never be too descriptive. Chances are you will want to be vague and quick about it since your embarrassed or not sure what they will think. This is exactly what not to do. You want extreme detail and talk slowly. Let your partner think about it as your describing it to them. They need time to process it and get turned on.
For example saying a quick “I want to stick it in you”. Is not going to turn her on to the same degree as “I can’t wait to slowly rub my shaft up and down your clit, before inserting just the tip. Then when you can’t take it any longer, I will drive with all my might while pulling your hair back.”
For the record, if you feel comfortable starting out with the quick feedback statements like “I really like it when you do that.” Or “You look so sexy right now.” That is totally fine. I am just making you aware it might not have the same effect. However, it is a great starting point for communication and dirty talk in the bedroom. This can lead to more detail as you feel out your partners response to the dirty talk. It can also make your partner aware of exactly what you like them doing and more importantly not doing.
Dirty Talk Senses:
While engaging in dirty talk, most individuals only use two primary senses; your sight and touch (example: “You look so sexy / You feel amazing right now.”)
While its great to stick to your comfort zone and perhaps this is great for beginner dirty talk, it can be ramped up using more than just your sight and touch. There is a lot of fun to be had by giving detailed descriptions using your other senses. Try these multi sense examples next time:
- You taste amazing right now…
- I love it when you moan in my ear.
- Your heavy breathing turns me on while I’m thrusting into you.
- I want to feel your cock pulsing in side me while you cum.
- I can’t wait for you to cum, so I can feel your vagina clenching around my cock.
Watch Your Language During Dirty Talk:
I’m not talking about speaking another language, although if you know how to, more power to you! I’m talking about profanity during dirty talk. Some partners don’t mind it, while others might get offended. Judge it based around how much profanity you use outside the bedroom. If you and your partner never swear during normal conversation, take it light on the profanity in the bedroom to start, and see how they respond. Watch their face and eyes, to judge the reaction.
Some partners want dirty talk to include very clinical descriptions of the body parts, like penis, and vagina. While others might like the urban dictionary talk of cock, pussy, balls, and dick.
She might like being called your “dirty little whore” while others never want you to call them that, especially during love making. So dirty talk, like we said can be like navigating a mine field. Therefore it’s important to check in with them once in a while, it’s a sign of respect and you care about how they feel. Just like when you ask, “is that to rough?” it’s a simple check in and doesn’t kill the mood.
If you’re sexting already make sure to check out our blog on it here. If you’re not sexting, you need to start! Sexting is the ultimate lead into dirty talk. You can really build a dirty talk relationship over time through sexting before starting in person verbally. This is a great way to test the waters and get more comfortable with your partner. Some entry level sexting talk to kick things off could be something in the nature of:
- I can’t wait to see you tonight, what do you have in mind for fun? 😉
- I’m really turned on right now just thinking of what were going to do tonight.
- Can you wear that sexy lingerie I bought you tonight?
- I got you a surprise, its going to make you so wet.
- I can’t wait to test out this new sex toy on you.
- I’m having trouble focusing at work today… I can’t stop thinking about what we did last night.
- You should probably have your pants off when I get there…. I’m in the mood to ravage your body.
- What are you thinking for dessert? I’m thinking going down on you should suffice.
Dirty Talk Intermediate Level:
So, what if you and your partner already engage in sexting and started branching into dirty talk in the bedroom. What are the next steps? Go outside your comfort zone a little and see how they respond. Maybe start with some next level sexting and see if they send something back just as vivid, or if they start backing off because it’s to much.
Warning, if you’re a beginner to this we might start ramping up to levels that offend some (if we haven’t already). If you take offense to dirty literotica, please don’t continue reading on.
- I love sliding my shaft into your warm, wet pussy.
- I can’t wait for you to cum on me.
- Relax… I’m going to make your wildest fantasies come true.
- You like my pussy huh? Well come take it like you mean it.
- I love gaging on your cock.
- Tell me how much you love it when I fuck you.
- I want you to fuck me right on the dinner table.
- I cant wait to strip those clothes off you and see that amazing ass,cock,pussy…
- Cum in my mouth, I want to taste every drop of you.
- That’s a good girl, but I didn’t say you can cum yet.
Dirty Talk Pornstar Level:
Only those who enjoy dirty talk to the extreme and have no boundaries take it to “pornstar” level. There is nothing wrong with taking it to this level as long as you both enjoy it and see no harm in doing so. Again, communication and check-ins at any time are good to do. The entire point of dirty talk is to turn each other on even more, not have them upset and kill the mood.
The following are not for the faint of heart, let me tell you again, you have been warned not to read on if you get easily offended. These are things you shouldn’t attempt in the first few months of a new relationship. This takes literotica to a new level, but if your partner is super into dirty talk, give these a try:
- Tell me how badly you want me to fuck you right now.
- That’s a good little slut, now let me taste how wet you are.
- I want you to moan so loud the neighbors will hear us.
- Fuck me like you mean it!
- Use me like the good little whore I am.
- I want to choke on your cock.
- I don’t want to hear you make a sound, or I will stop and tease you until you obey my orders.
- Grab my ass and ride it like there’s no tomorrow.
- You must get my permission to cum before doing so.
How to Talk Dirty:
I hope this helps answer your question on how to talk dirty. The main thing is start with sexting and feel out your partners response. Then ramp up to light dirty talk in the bedroom. It’s okay to check in here and there to see how they like it, or if it’s to much. If it appears your partner really enjoys dirty talk, over time, you can roll your way up to intermediate type examples or even pornstar level examples like above.
You can always test the waters by seeing if they would read any literotica. If your partner is into literotica or watches porn, the chances are the would enjoy some degree of dirty talk in the bedroom. You might feel goofy at first, that’s okay, most people do. Once you have done it a few times, and really get into it, the more natural it will feel.
Have fun talking dirty!
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