Sex Tips & Advice

Women Masturbation: Your Hands-on guide to solo sex


By Lee & Jessica Owners of DiskretAdultLife, Jan. 23rd, 2019

Women masturbation is a part of life, not only is it extremely pleasurable but it also has its benefits. Masturbation is a safe and natural way to feel good, develop your body, understand your needs, and release built-up sexual tension. In fact, the benefits are infinite with virtual zero downsides. I will show you 25 tips for solo play to receive the most pleasure!

You most likely have masturbated before, but just implementing one new tip from this long list can add a new twist to your solo play and bring entirely new forms of pleasure! This guide is not only for women, its for anyone with a female partner too! Learn and develop exactly how to please her the best way possible. This masturbation list was developed through women who masturbate testimonies, and sex experts in the adult industry (including Diskret). Still have a question on something? Feel free to email us at info(at)

Women Masturbation: Before the Fun Starts!

women masturbation

  • Women Masturbation; Set the Mood:

Everyone seems to always miss this part. Not sure if it’s just because of how busy everyone is, or perhaps your so excited to start touching yourself you completely forget about setting the mood. Setting the mood is very important, it helps you relax and get mentally prepared for what’s to come. It calms you and heightens your senses. Women who masturbate often overlook how important such a small and simple thing can be!

So how should you set the mood? That is completely up to you, and only you know your body responds best too. But don’t think it’s to “cheesey” of a task. Lighting some candles, dimming the lights, soft music. Whatever helps get you in the mood!

  • Women Masturbation; Relax Mentally:

Women masturbation requires some skill to fully develop your personalized routine. It will take some trial and error before finding your “groove”. Part of that routine should include taking some time to relax mentally before you start touching yourself. Not only is it harder to achieve orgasm when not relaxed, it can ruin the mood and pleasure all together.

Test out some basic techniques like breathing in, holding, and slowly releasing. Get comfortable, lay on your back with a pillow and take 5 minutes focusing just solely on you and your relaxation. Its almost a form of meditation that helps calm you. You should be in a state of mind that is almost to the point of falling asleep. If you’re in discomfort, it’s a bad way to start your masturbation session.

If you have kids, make sure the doors locked. Or have the babysitter take them to the park or a movie. Piece of mind is key, its hard to get-off if your constantly worried about kids barging through the door.

  • Women Masturbation; Relax Physically:

Just like you relaxed mentally make sure to relax physically as well. Yes, they really go hand-in-hand. Relaxing physically will usually help you mentally as well. So, try some light exercise such as a walk outside for fresh air, yoga, or stretching. If you enjoy the water, try soaking in a nice warm bath. You might even want to start touching yourself in there. Light some candles or sit by the warm fire to start. Not that I would encourage drinking; but relaxing with a glass of wine by the fire is my favorite way to physically relax!

sex in the shower

  • Women Masturbation; Time:

The number one mistake we see with women who masturbate is not giving themselves enough time! Masturbation is not a race and trying to squeeze out an orgasm in 5 minutes can ruin the experience entirely. Make sure you have a solid 20-40mins free at least. Turn your phone off (yes omg I just said that) if you have something important coming up you can set an alarm, but I highly recommend waiting until after.

Can some women orgasm in 5 minutes? Yes of course, and if you’re one of them you are truly lucky. Some women can use masturbation as a relaxation technique and stress relief.  So, they hammer out one quick when feeling stressed, doesn’t matter to them the time or place. If you feel comfortable doing this; more power to you! But this is not how I suggest starting out, and most women find it less pleasurable!

  • Women Masturbation; Accessories:

For women masturbation you definitely don’t want to forget the accessories! Nothing is more annoy then having to stop mid-session of solo play to go grab lube or go grab your sex toy. Make sure you are fully prepared ahead of time, and everything is in arms reach of where you are pleasuring yourself. If you want lube, sex toys, a towel, Kleenex, or water. Make sure these items are ready to go. Make sure your sex toy is charged and the lube packet is already open. Don’t be fumbling with these items during your solo session because believe me, it can be a total buzz kill!

pleasure party

  • Women Masturbation: Foreplay:

So many forms of foreplay can be used during women masturbation. I suggest you try a couple different forms of foreplay to see what your body responds best to. Here is a long list of foreplay examples you should give a shot.

  • Women Masturbation; Find a Position:

Everyone is always looking for the best sex position to have with a partner. But did you know you can masturbate in a lot of different positions as well? They all have their own unique feel and benefits too! So, stop just laying on your back and touching yourself, explore something new! Try on your side, on all fours, or with your legs up. You can start on your back if that is how you are most comfortable but change it up mid-session for a new twist on things!

  • Women Masturbation; Feminist Porn:

It’s a great form of foreplay; however, watching porn has somehow got a bad reputation. Not sure why? Its pleasurable to watch others receive pleasure. Use it to your advantage! Start with some soft-core porn or feminist porn (link is not to porn website). This type of porn industry treats the actors and actresses with respect and is much higher quality. Unfortunately, there is a cost associated with most feminist porn, but that’s what insures you get the highest quality film. Most women prefer this type of porn but if you want more hardcore, by all means whatever floats your boat!

  • Women Masturbation; Explore Erogenous Zones:

What the heck is an erogenous zone? It’s the areas you should focus on first during female masturbation. You can rub, pinch, pull, squeeze, tug or caress these areas. The erogenous zones are made up of the inner thighs, nipples, ears, neck, and breasts. These areas are often neglected but filled with nerve endings. You can get extremely turned on by focusing on these areas and you darn well should be! Same as a partner might kiss your neck and caress your breasts before sexual penetration, you should do the same…

  • Women Masturbation; Start with Your Hands:

Now don’t get me wrong, ever woman loves a high-quality sex toy! But I’m actually suggesting you wait to use it! A lot of women get off extremely fast with a good sex toy. That doesn’t mean you should grab it and go to town! Start with your hands, soft slow touches all over your body. It might even feel silly at first if you’re not used to it. But this is a great form of foreplay and gets you in the mood. Focus on those erogenous zones with your hands. Work your way down to lightly caressing your clit and vagina. Hold off on that sex toy until your turned on. This is the start to a mind-blowing, orgasmic masturbation session!

Women Masturbation: Time to Enjoy the Fun!

girl sucking finger

  • Vaginal Penetration:

The most common form of women masturbation is vaginal penetration. It is also what comes to mind first for most men and women. Now of course vaginal penetration can be pleasurable, I still wouldn’t recommend it be the start of your female masturbation session. Why the heck not? I suggest starting with clitoral stimulation and outside vaginal stimulation, before you actually penetrate. This is another form of building anticipation and foreplay before going directly to penetration. If you haven’t guessed it yet, there is a theme here for great masturbation. Its in the prep-work. The time spent relaxing, building the anticipation, and foreplay, is what leads to the longest, most intense orgasms!

  • Clitoral Stimulation:

The second most common form of women masturbation is clitoral! For obvious reasons, never ignore your clit! The sole purpose of the female clitoris is for pleasure, it has no other purpose on your body! So, you might as well use it. The clitoris is completely packed full of nerve ends and deserves some serious attention when you start touching yourself. Start with slow circular motions with lube, and add a clitoral stimulator later if you want. You can climax from clitoral stimulation alone and if you add vaginal penetration or anal paly; it will boost how intense the orgasm is! Its referred to as a blended orgasm.

  • Anal Play:

 You can’t talk about women masturbation without talking anal play. Once thought of as taboo has become mainstream and for good reason! Anal stimulation is extremely pleasurable! Everyone does it now! Gay, straight, men, and women are enjoying anal play. I suggest using it as a second form of stimulation to start. Don’t make it your main priority and shoot for a prostate orgasm right off the bat! Use a butt plug or anal beads and leave them in while you focus on your front side. Climaxing from stimulating your clitoris or vagina while having an anal toy in is simply breath taking!

best orgasm

  • Blended Orgasms:

Testimonies from most women have shown blended orgasms to be the best orgasms they’ve ever had. A blended orgasm can be achieved from solo masturbation sessions anytime. It takes a little practice and some hand-eye coordination if you plan to penetrate anal and vaginal at the same time. However, you can start by leaving your anal sex toy in and focusing on your front side. Otherwise you will need both hands going at the same time but believe me… the reward is well worth the effort!

Women Masturbation Tips for Full Body Orgasms:

pleasure balls

  • Back Off Before Orgasm

Want to boost your orgasms from masturbation? Want to feel longer more intense orgasms? Perhaps you even want to experience full body orgasms? The first tip is try backing off right before you orgasm to make it even better. Build the anticipation to the point of climax during solo masturbation then stop! Yes, stop entirely or back off and bring yourself down. Then build yourself back up. This technique is used for men masturbation as well. You can bring yourself up and down numerous times, typically the more times you get there then stop; the better the orgasm. Once you do finally climax, its 10x more intense. This technique is also known as edging.  

  • Orgasms Are Nice; But Not the Goal

Now, before you say “this is crazy, I want to orgasm every time” we get it… But if you have difficulty orgasming, don’t make it the goal every time. Its okay to play with yourself for an hour and get immense pleasure from it without orgasming. You still receive all the benefits of relaxing your body, having fun, and getting tons of pleasure. If you overthink things and try very hard for orgasms, its actually working against yourself! Instead go in with the mindset of “If it happens, it happens…”

  • Use Lube, Lots and Lots of Lube

I’m not just saying this because we sell amazing lube. It’s important to use lube, it makes female masturbation way more pleasurable. Why? Because it lubes up the sex toy and yourself, bringing any type of discomfort during penetration down to nothing. It is also a necessity for any type of anal play. Your anus can’t naturally lube itself like the vagina can. To prevent discomfort, pain, or injury you need to lube all anal toys before insertion. Lube brings all the benefits will little to no risk. Just understand what type of lube to use with what. Basic rule of thumb you are safe with all water-based lubes, and if you are using a silicone-based lube stay away from silicone sex toys.

coconut oil as lube

  • Don’t just lay on your back

Lift your legs as high as possible, to help reach the internal parts of your clitoris. Turn on your stomach and see if that feels good. Try going on all four, especially for anal play. Anything to change up the “normal masturbation sessions” you typically have will help you learn and develop. Its about growing your skills through trial and error. Here is a long list of every sex position from kinkly to give you some extra ideas!

  • Find a rhythm that works (and stick with it)

It’s tempting to lay on you back and let the vibrators do all the work. But moving helps bring better orgasms. So, rock your hips to a rhythm or go in circles, perhaps back-and-forth motions. Its entirely up to you, find what feels the best. Once you find a rhythm that works, stick with it! It’s important to find your groove during women masturbation; not changing every five minutes. The rhythm rocking will keep the vibrations from overwhelming you, plus might even find a new favorite sex position as your rolling around.

  • Your biggest sex organ is between your ears

“Say Whaaat?!” This is a direct quote from sex expert Rachel Venning. While most women who masturbate don’t think of the brain as a sex organ; it’s the most important part in the first step of any women masturbation. Getting turned on is the most important part! Find some porn that works for you, or check out some literotica. But just remember, sometimes the best erotica comes from your imagination. Your sexual fantasies that you find the hottest!

The Best Sex Toys for Women Masturbation:

how to use a butt plug

It’s called the 90 second orgasm toy for a reason… This thing uses insane technology combined with extremely high-quality materials to bring the best clitoral stimulator of all time. It’s made by Lelo so you know its classy, sexy, and works well. It uses a pulse wave technology that creates suction through small pulsing air waves. You then place the tip over your clitoris and hold on! Prepare for the fastest most intense orgasm you’ve had yet. Anyone female who has tried this or the womanizer know exactly what I’m talking about. (I’m getting hot and bothered just writing about it!)

women masturbation

The Multiplayer by Diskret not only looks amazing but feels amazing too! It’s a hand-blown glass butt plug (I watch the artist do it in person) that is fused with pure 24k gold. He takes a dab of the gold while shaping the glass and melts it in the base which creates a swirl pattern throughout. Its like nothing you’ve seen before! It’s made from shatter-proof glass that is 100% body safe. Its great with any type of lube and is designed for ambitious beginners to intermediate level anal play users.

women masturbation

Remember how we said foreplay and preparation before masturbation is the most important part of women masturbation?! Well these Ben-Wa-Balls are the perfect way to warm up! Slide them in and wear them a few hours before you plan to masturbate. They will have you so turned on, you won’t even make it a few hours before you feel the need to start touching yourself! These ben-wa-balls are weighted and respond to movements with subtle vibrations. The perfect teasing warm up to sex or masturbation.

weighted kegel balls

Looking for the perfect dildo? Njoy has you covered with the pure wand. It is completely stainless steel. This gives it great weight and rigidity. It has a nice curve which allows for g-spot stimulation. The stainless steel gives a unique sensation, plus doesn’t retain any smell, and very easy to clean with soap and water when done. Lay on your back, relax, and enjoy the insane pleasure of the small or large bulb wand.

Curved Dildos

This quickly became my “go-to” vibrator. It’s a standard curved shape for g-spot simulation with a nub that hits the clitoris perfectly during penetration. This is what the perfect blended orgasm feels like! The best part about the Enigma is all the features it offers. Its waterproof, USB rechargeable, 10 vibration modes, and a very comfortable handle. If you’re not satisfied with the Enigma, good luck finding something better.

women masturbation

Now that you’re equipped with all the information you could possibly need. Go get some practice and pleasure!

Want to win a free Diskret Sex Toy? Share this blog on any main social media form with #diskretadultlife for your chance to win! Winner drawn monthly!

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